Second Pregnancy Superstitions
Posted by Kristin DeLoach in March 11th 2008
Coming off what was an amazing first pregnancy and delivery (well, at least in my mind it was) with a baby that slept well right off the bat, barely cried and gave us plenty of happy smiles and coos, I felt incredibly lucky that Punkin’ Bear decided to take it easy on her dear old parents. But now that I’m expecting my second little one, deep down I must admit that it in some way it leaves me wondering “Did I have anything to do with Punkin’ Bear’s happy disposition and easy-going nature?” Okay, let me rephrase. I’d like to believe that I had something to do with her happy disposition and easy-going nature. And thus, out of that have been born some admittedly silly superstitions for my second pregnancy.
Well, maybe they’re not exactly superstitions, they’re more like idiosyncrasies. Regardless of what you call them, my rational mind tells me that they had little to do with my little girl being such a happy, loveable and smart child. Yet I still find myself inexplicably eating almonds every day because deep down I suspect that the fatty omegas fed into her mental development. Are they reason she can count to 10 in Spanish and read and she’s not even three (did I read that somewhere)? Or, if you step into my car, you’ll only hear “easy listening” music, which is not my first preference, but my intuition tells me that exposing my tummy to slow paced, soft music is the reason she was such a calm infant. And do I really believe that making sure I watch at least one TV show a week that makes me laugh hysterically is the reason that Punkin’ Bear laughs and laughs at the silliest things? Rationally, no. But deep down, yes.
I know that we’re going to feel like the luckiest people in the world no matter what BrotherSister’s disposition is or how well she does or doesn’t sleep for us during her first months, but as most parents you do everything you can to make sure that the odds are stacked in her favor. If it means being a little silly or superstitious then that’s what I’ll do. After all, do baseball players really believe that wearing the same pair of socks without washing them all season helps their game? Rationally, probably not. But deep down, yes.
I know I’m not the only one! I’d love to hear what your superstitions and crazy idiosynchracies are. (so maybe I don’t feel so silly)
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Dear Kristin,…How can I say this…..hmmm
Yeah you’re in for it! Get your slepp NOW (insert evil laugh). Just kidding all that stuff is hooey, beside misery loves company
I gave up on my superstitions after baby #2 came out so freakishly different than baby #1!!!! However God decides to hard wire them is perfect with me… different or the same, you’ll find the best in each child and focus in on that! And call me when you need to book a vacation
Your second is bound to be different from your first, but equally enjoyable in a whole new set of ways!
We used to play classical music on a walkman (remember what those are?) and put the head phones on my wife’s belly. We did that until we read that babies actually may not like it. Never the less, our daughter hasn’t mentioned it either way.
Ms. Deloach,
You are funny, but you are not crazy : ^ )
Although I am only on baby number one (and I do not know if any of my tricks have worked yet) I find myself doing a few odd things that may be considered superstitious- or at least with a fuzzy-minded purpose.
First, I dance with my belly. This is quite an interesting thing to watch, and the primary reason why I do not do it in front of anyone. I get my groove on, while holding and bouncing my belly. I verbally let the little one know she can dance too, and inevitably she starts to kick and squirm. We spend about 3-5 minutes getting down together. In my mind, she knows we are dancing and it is setting up her ability to chill and have a good time- something I plan to continue as she grows.
I also have been playing my husband’s music for her via my IPOD and some special headsets. My husband has not been doing a lot of the belly talk, and I really wanted her to know his voice- not to mention appreciate good music. Therefore, I have been playing his CDs for her. Funny thing is, although the music is upbeat, it calms her. I think this exposure will not only bring her closer to “Daddy” but to loving music too.
Lastly, as my due date quickly approaches, I have refused to pack my “Labor Bag” until I am ready to “do this.” I am superstitious (or perhaps naive), and believe that so long as my bag is not packed she will patiently wait for “Mommy” to get ready. Call me crazy- but I am hoping this one really works…
All I know is that every child is different. My first slept through the night within the first 6 months and happily slept in his crib. My 2nd did not and ended up in our bed for the first 18 months….otherwise she would not sleep. The amazing thing is that it continues to this day. My son sleeps so well that you could set off a bomb in his room and it won’t even cause him to move. However, my daughter, who is now 4, will wake during the night for a variety of reasons. I find myself waking to a little, very cute, face saying let me into bed. We then receive the love….being kicked in the face, head, stomach, etc…through the night. In sleep, she is in motion….
However, the other tradeoff was that my son had a very rough terrible 2-4 and my daughter has been relatively calmer. So, you take the good with the not as good…it all balances out.
Get your rest now and be prepared for a unique, challenging and wonderful addition to your life.
I love hearing your supersitions and you never know they just might work. I think the biggest thing you learn with the second child is that no matter what you do they are all different. The best part is there are a million new things to love about your second child as much as you do with your first. They are all unique and wonderful!
I don’t have any children, but do believe if your tactics worked for baby #1, it may as well work for baby #2! Plus, wanting your baby to be the happiest, easy going and loving child, is not being silly, but being a great mother!!
Can’t wait for the new one to be born!
Best of luck on the secpnd pregnancy and delivery!
Kristin, I can only speak to the idiosyncrasies, since I only have the one child. But I too believe the extra steps we mommys take to better care for ourselves during pregnancy and our babies — is beneficial and has postive long-term affects. You’re not crazy! They are tons of studies to prove it! I breast feed, prepared baby food from scratch (steamed and blended fruits and veggies), only listened to easy listening music, laughed often and … wha la! … I too have a healthy, easy-going, bright child. Someone years ago, paid my husband and I a great compliment … “Happy parents, produce happy children”! I believe that! My Sydney is a hoot! So I say, keep doin’ what you’re doin’ … ’cause it’s working for you, lady! Congrats!
I have to agree with the others. Your second child will be their own unique person. And it is fun to compare your kids and see in what ways they are different and in what ways they are alike. Either way enjoy!
I would definitely say I am not of the superstitious persuasion. However, that being said, I am a firm believer that if its not broken, don’t fix it. If you want to watch Opera every day and cry along at the day’s drama, and that somehow makes your daughter more empathetic, then by all means fire up the TV and cry me a river. If what you told me is true, 9 months of superstitious activities may just equal one heck of a smart, funny, sweet, well-adjusted child. Good Luck with the second pregnancy and child. I hope lightning strikes twice.
The second child is much easier…you are more relaxed and know what to do. They in turn will be calmer and less likely to act up. After number 2 it’s down hill to 5!!! Just speaking from . Good luck and don’t get outnumbered…
I guess I am superstitious too…because I do believe that those things help…listening to certain music, recordings of mom/dad reading a book or singing, mom staying calm and relaxed….
I guess you will find out soon enough when your second little one arrives huh?
It is so fun to discover the differences and similarities between your first and second child. I’ve found out that both of my girls are definitely their own person, but they both have cute characteristics that are very similar. The biggest joy for me is watching them relate to one another. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that they now have a life long buddy who always has their back.
I’m not sure if anything that I did during pregnancy influenced their personalities, but I’m trying to do everything that I can to encourage their own unique ideas.
Enjoy!!
I used to sing to both of mine, a made-up ditty to the tune of Frere Jacques:
Child’s Name, Child’s Name
Mommy loves you, Mommy loves you
Child’s full with middle name, Child’s full with middle name
Mommy loves you, Mommy loves you
Once the two were born, I would sing this whenever they got fussy (adding he verses: “Daddy loves you, Grandma loves you, Puppy loves you . . .) and I am convinced it settled them both and reminded them of their peaceful time in the womb. Or not.
I think we all do unusual things while waiting and somehow, either despite or because of us, the good Lord gives us wonderful, unique children with whom we cannot imagine NOT sharing our lives.
Best of luck to you and your growing family!
I love that Kirstin asks her daughter what she will dream about each night…I use to ask my daughter the same question.
I don’t believe that ANYthing you did during pregnancy has any bearing on how baby sleeps today, how she thinks, how she eats. None of it. In the same way that most ‘bad’ things you did, before you found out you were pregnant, have no bearing either. My 18 month old daughter doesn’t sleep because she is too busy. She has to know what’s going on in the other room. AHHHH!
But don’t go by me. I’m superstitious as HECK!
Hi Kristin,
Tameka shared with me a few month ago that you was expecting again. I was extremely happy for you and Sean. I agree with you on many of your thoughts, and as you very well know Tameka and Wil are both very happy and bright children and delightful to be around as you well know. You go (DIVA) have another one and he/she will be just like the first born. By now you have guessed who I am! The mother of both.
I like mermaids too. I think your daughter actually does dream about them!
Don’t worry, the 2nd child is always the best (except for my 2nd child)! What TV show makes you laugh hilariously once a week?
Kids are kids. Plant the seed and watch how beautiful the garden becomes!!!!!
Well I’ve heard a couple superstitions myself…my mom-mom told me a few about looking at the “swirl” in your first childs hair and also to look at whether their hairline is rounded or pointed to tell what sex your next child will be. Or the whole sweets versus salty to determine sex. I’m not too superstitious of a person but I have to say…both were right on for me!! But in accordance with other bloggers, both children turned out very different from each other and each has their own unique qualities!! So my only advice is…get ready for no sleep! haha just kidding….
Kirstin, If doing these little things makes you feel better than it will only be good for the baby. After all, happy mom, happy baby! Best of luck!
Kristen,
I don’t really think that you get much say on how they want to behave when they are that young. Good friends of mine had there first boy who was a joy, and just the easiest to take care of, then came my godson, who was also a joy, but a little more difficult to handle. As he got a little older, he also got a little more out of control, jumping off furniture and running out the front door. Luckily he has out grown those suicidal urgencies, and they are both great loving boys.
Just love them completely, do your best, and cherish the time you spend with them, and don’t worry about the rest.
Superstitions and odd behaviors…
A friend over at Graco listed a few things she did to give her first child a leg up. I’ve listed some of the oddities that Jenny & I have employed and give a glimpse of the poor parents that we are likely to become……
Hi Kristin. Hope that things continue to go well. No superstition is silly, by the way. And yes, not washing various items of clothing does enhance an athlete’s skill. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I wouldn’t worry about #2. given the fact that you will still have a relatively young toddler roaming around, he/she is bound to be a little more independent. best of luck for a healthy conclusion to the pregnancy and a safe delivery.
Kristin, all I can tell you for certain is your two little ones will most definitely have different little personalities.
I had two very similar pregnancies (tried to eat healthy, exercised, listened to soft music, read out loud to my belly, ate certain foods that were supposed to be good for baby’s development, etc), and now I have two very special and unique boys who bring joy to me everyday, each in their own way. I’m not sure I’ll ever know for certain how much I influenced their personalities, but as time goes on the more I believe that children are meant to pass through us and become who they are meant to be. One of the most important things I can do as their Mother is accept them for who they are, encourage their interests and passions, and love them dearly
Kristin - as you know I’m not a mom…not yet. Someday I will be, though! And if you (along with my other girlfriends) can just keep figuring out all this baby stuff for me, then I’m going to be so ahead of the game when it’s finally my turn! All the best!
Kristin - anything that can possibly help should be tried! I think the most important thing is that you are healthy and happy. That makes sense rationally, and deep down. Good luck!
I have one happy 3 1/2 year old little boy! I laugh at his personality because he is so much like me and my husband. I am trying to have another child and wonder about the same things as you. I do believe that all children are unique but you should definitely have fun with the superstitions! Good Luck!
I agree with my daughter Deanna. Get at much info as possible. It’s been too long since I had three of my own. Good luck!
You’ll do well. Mothering comes naturally.
Kristin- I am a mom of 3 (1 boy and 2 girls). I had similar pregnancies with all of them but 3 different children. Baby #2 and #3 were easier babies than #1 which probably had to do with me being more relaxed. Baby #2 may surprise you and be as good or even better than your first. I do think that boys and girls are different. Boys tend to be more active as toddlers but the girls make up for it with the teenage years!! My advice would be to try to relax (as much as you can) and enjoy watching your oldest with the new baby!
Kristin, I wanted to add one more thing.
Don’t forget about the influence your oldest will have on baby #2!!!!
I don’t have kids yet…but you will have to keep us posted if these things work
Babies, superstitions, idiosyncrasies, oh my! Don’t know what to say on #1, but on #2 & 3, be who you are and do wacky, whatever things and your children will be fantastic — because you are.
Hi. It’s Terri from Softmart. Let me just say congrats on #2. Then let me say that my #1 and #2 are SO different. My son is my 1st and very affectionate and more laid-back. My daughter on the other hand may only be 2 but she knows what she wants and will accept nothing less. She is very opinionated but is as cute as can be. So you just never know what you will be in for but whatever it may be, they are all special in their own way and touch your heart in so many different ways. Best of luck!
Hi Kristin,
I had 2 girls, just 20 months apart. They are both different and special in their own way. Those differences are the spice of life you know! Don’t every stress yourself out thinking that you have to be perfect - you won’t be because none of us are - but luckily children are very forgiving. Make sure your own happiness is kept in mind, and that you have interests other than just children things. I know it seems a lifetime away, but one day they will be gone and you will still have your interests to keep you happy. Enjoy every day. My girls are grown up now, but I think back over those days as some of the best of my life. And believe it when you hear that phrase “time flies by”. It’s true! You go from spit-up to break-up’s in a flash of a lash. Best Wishes to your family.
Lisa
As a mother of two, it is amazing to me just how different they can be. My first still doesn’t consistently sleep through the night and my second slept through the night at two weeks old. I think that God gives you what you can handle and gives you the skills and patience when you think you can’t do any more. Children are so unique and such a blessing. One thing that I have really enjoyed about number two is watching her interact with her older brother. It is awesome to watch them form a bond and love each other from such a young age. Congrats on #2 and enjoy the ride!
Wow! Thanks for the overwhelming response! And a special thanks, too, for all of the well-wishes.
I’m happy to know that I’m not the only one out there that picked up some silly (or not so silly) habits during pregnancy. It dawned on me as I’ve been reading your posts that everything we do during pregnancy, be it the food we eat, the music we listen to or anything we do with our little one in mind is really just another form of nuturing our children - silly or not.
I forgot to wish you Good Luck with number two!!!
Take one day at a time and enjoy every minute! With or without superstitions, things always have a way of working out. Congratulations and best of luck to you!
Congratulations and best of luck! You never realize how easy you had it when there was only one!
Technology has really allowed us the incredible opportunity to share with others in a way we never could. It really opens the world…literally!
It’s a wonderful time of life…having children, expecting children. We can all just do our best to nourish and encourage the little ones. Each will grow into the most amazing and wonderful person, whom you will love from the very start. ENJOY!!!
Kris,
You are the best! What a fabulous message regarding your second pregnancy and a real tribute to your little Punkin Bear. Congratulations to you and your hubby and we are wishing you all the best second time around.
Love and prayers,
Aunt Diane and Uncle Rich
ABSOLUTELY, DO GET SOME SLEEP!
Kris, with caring, loving, and devoted parents such as yourself and Shawn, number 2 can’t possibly miss. We have already seen how wonderful Punkin’ bear is, so not to worry!!! Put all those superstitions aside and enjoy this amazing time in your life. Savor every minute and also keep a journal if you can because even if you think that you will never forget all of those cute things your little tykes say and do, you can’t possibly remember everything. That’s where the journal comes in…recorded memories that will last a lifetime. And your children will love reading about the things they did…well, maybe not everything (ha).
Best of luck to all of you. We will await the wonderful news of the arrival of number 2 cutie!!
Best wishes for baby number 2 !!!!
Dear Kristin,
All the things you are doing sound like good ideas, no matter what. However, However, siblings can be so different that their parents sometimes wonder if they came from different planets! One things, though, that is certain is that your new little one will be incredibly blessed to have you and Shawn for parents. Much love and all best wishes. Millie and Bud
Baby 2 is a wonderful blessing…no superstitions are necessary!
Best of luck with #2!
There is no doubt concerned parents raise better children.
However, they each will have their own personality - and quirks.
Accept that and love them all.
These comments are so humorous! I’ve never been a mom but I know and love alot of children–you’ve got me curious about what some of their moms may have done while pregnant!
Best wishes to you and Shawn and Punkin’ Bear as the waiting continues!
Peace and blessings–Suzy
You are already mothering your little one! Enjoy this special time!
I don’t have any superstitions to share, Krisitn, but I’d like to add to the “they are all different” train of thought. The deliveries are all different, too. I was in the hospital 45 minutes before the birth of my first…. 6 hours for the birth of my second! Best of luck to you. Enjoy them both.
Best wishes to you–just tell your babies you love them all the time–that’s what they want to hear and they do hear it—-I still tell that to my 28 year old daughter-who is expecting her 2nd….Grannie
Double the fun!!
Very funny - never thought about eating the same thing to encourage similar personality traits. Forget about eating the right things, just try to get your rest now! And start playing up punkin bear’s special status as the big bro/sis. Good luck!
Congratulations on your upcoming bundle of joy!
My experience - baby2 will come out a little more rambunctious. After all baby2 has competition for mom and dad’s attention from the beginning and will get right to work vying for it. Great challenge, great fun.
Hi Kristin,
Birth is truly a miracle. Best wishes for #2.
It is great to hear your ideas on your second child. I am the mother of 2 also. Mine are teenagers now, but I remember the days when they were babies. It will go by so fast, enjoy these early days, they are precious. Keep asking about their dreams. What a lovely bedtime routine that is.
We’re trying for number 2 now too and I have the same worries! At least I’m not alone. :o)
Kristen,
I think that your “silly superstitions” are not silly at all and I can’t wait to see if the second is as enjoyable as the first. Everyone has a piece of advice about being pregnant.. what to do .. what not to do.. and things they swear by. Although you can follow EVERY rule and suggestion…it sounds like you are good parents… which I also believe has so much importance in having a ” good” well adjusted baby! Good luck.
I just had #3 (about 7 months ago) and he is as sweet as his two older sisters. I hope I had something to do with their dispostions too but you never know. I must say though, I did the same exact thing with each of them to get into a routine and I think that helped. No matter what you will love the new one just as much and be sure to take joy in their smiles, laughter and love and it will all be wonderful.
Kristen,
Eating Kiwi fruit will make your second baby have curly hair!
Kristen,
I’d listen to Jill; I’ve heard she might be neighbors with the stork. Just remember: Any advice from Pop-Pop Bell, try the opposite.
Good luck to all of you.
This is the best time of your life. Enjoy every minute of the interesting personalities of each of your babies. Every day is an adventure with children.
With the 2nd baby you will now feel like an expert! You’ll have more confidence in your parenting skills and almost nothing will surprise you. Relax and enjoy the ride.
Thanks for bringing this issue up, Kristin! It’s relieving to know that other people have thoughts just like mine (and that somewhere, I might NOT be crazy)! I just had child #1 and I have secretly wondered what did “I” do to make her come out so perfectly. It sounds so egocentric, but I often wonder to what degree my husband and I have influenced our smiley baby, how much my low-stress pregnancy affected her, and how much is just HER.
Have fun with your next and be sure to tell us all about it!!!
OK - and this coming from a guy. SING a song (and often) instead of listening to them. The vibrations from your own vocal cords and the emotional intent will have a direct effect. My suggestion: a good country music song like “Mama, don’t your babies grow up to be democrats”. Ha Ha. Then again, perhaps something more upbeat…
Do what works for you! Embrace those rituals and superstitions now, and let them give you some hope that child number 2 will be from the same behavioral mold as number 1!!
That being said, having two wonderful children myself has made me realize that despite all your best efforts you should get some sleep now!!! (you know… just in case)
Congratulations and Best of Luck to you!
Best of luck to all of you!
Having two children is wonderful. You will get less sleep, but will have enough love to give to both your children. No matter how good or bad the day is they always put a smile on my face. Good luck!