Mar
18
No TV (at least for one night…)
March 18th, 2008 by Melissa Parlaman
This past Monday, some of my fellow bloggers, Kim and Kristin, and I were discussing discipline. We joke that Kim and I are completely opposite when it comes to discipline. I am very, very lax and Kim is structured & planned (she has a discipline meter…). I have to admit, that I was inspired by her. That night, PP, once again, would not sit down to dinner without a fight. Once she did sit down she said, “NO” as soon as I placed a plate of food in front of her. I told her that she needs to eat dinner or NO TV that night (that was the first time that I ever said that). She didn’t eat anything & I warned her again. PP then proceeded to throw the dish of food onto the floor (this is a normal occurrence) and said to me, “No.”
So, I unhooked her from her seat and told her that she cannot watch TV since she didn’t eat her dinner. PP whined at first then went right to her toys & started to play. Then we played house in her Rose Petal cottage and had a tea party. PP wanted to read some books, so we read about three Curious George books and played with her flash cards (which have really helped her learn new words). Before we knew it, it was bathy bath time. If we hadn’t instilled NO TV night, then we would have missed out on some quiet family time.
We actually survived a night without TV! Who knew we could pull it off and actually enjoy it! My husband was the one struggling that night - he tried to negotiate watching a hockey game since PP wasn’t allowed to watch her shows (I didn’t give in–no TV means no TV for everyone!).
This happened again last night. I stood strong & said “no TV” again.
My parents were watching my daughter today & she ate some of her lunch & my dad said to her, “Do you want to watch TV?” Her reply was, “Can I?”
Maybe I can discipline her….
March 19th, 2008 at 10:05 am |
It sure sounds like PP likes to watch TV and does not like to be told when to eat. Maybe you should cook her a TV dinner! Good Luck!
March 21st, 2008 at 12:02 pm |
No TV is the best discipline tool in my arsenal. I can threaten to take away her toys and my preschooler doesn’t care. But if I threaten to turn off the TV, she snaps to attention.
But I think we all need TV free days now and then, too. It’s good to cut off the passive entertainment and have some real family time.
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:05 pm |
make sure you remember that everyone in the family is important. sounds like she has ALL the attention. Children don’t need to be the centerpiece all the time. I don’t want you to take this wrong, I am sure you are an amazing mom, and I know its hard to know what is right, but after years of experience this is what I learned that I feel may be the most important thing.
I think you should of “let” your husband watch tv if he wanted to. The whole family can’t be punished because of a childs mistake. That goes back to the part of being the centerpiece. Certainly dad is an adult, and should be able to watch tv if he wants. The child needs to understand that THEY did something and are being punished, not that it will change the focus or activity of everyone else. You need to try to do those fun, non tv activities when it isn’t a result of taking away tv time. Dad can join in when he wants to. Remember to have some hobbies outside of your children, so that they aren’t the only focus of your life. Being a good parent involves more than keeping our children happy, we have to set the ground rules early on when the bad behavior isn’t anything serious. Sometimes being firm will make your child love and respect you more. They need that guidance, and are looking for it from you. There is a nice balance. You are not her best friend, you are her mother. You will reap the benefits of having a child who is fun-loving, but well-behaved because she will know her boundaries. Good luck!!
March 24th, 2008 at 7:25 am |
Lisa–great advice. I think having only one child creates the “centerpiece” mentality so I appreciate your wholistic outlook approach.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:35 am |
Great post. We struggle with TV too, although I’ve learned to use it as a tool when I need to calm him down or to reward him. It’s hard to not watch TV when there is so much on (and I’m a big TV-watcher!), but we’ve cut way back as a family and I wait until my son is in bed before I watch “my” shows.
March 26th, 2008 at 7:36 pm |
Hi,
When I read my post over I hope I didn’t come across too mean. I didn’t intend to, but sometimes when I write things I have to realize that no one can hear my pleasant, fun voice….haha…. so hopefully this was taken in the nice helpful was it was meant, and not too hard on you Melissa. You have an adorable little girl. I wish you the best.