What I Said Instead

Do you find yourself, as a parent, always putting a positive spin on things with your kids? You say what you know is right instead of what you’re thinking. (first example below) We have to set the good example, after all. But one time, JUST ONE TIME, wouldn’t you like to say what you were really thinking? Here are some of mine:

Guns

Said instead: Let’s look in there together. See, no reason to be afraid!
I was thinking: Unless your Aunt could squeeze herself in there, there’s nothing  scary in your closet.

Said instead: They’re good for you and help you grow up big and strong!
I was thinking: To be honest, nobody likes brussel sprouts – I wouldn’t eat them either.

Said instead: I know you’re upset. Let’s sit down and talk about it.
I was thinking: How are you going to run away from home when you’re not allowed to cross the street?

Said instead: It’s time to practice your violin. Wow, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”– that’s my favorite.
I was thinking: Let me grab my noise cancelling headphones.

Said instead: You know we don’t approve of violence in this house.
I was thinking: I think you’re right, I probably could beat up Billy’s dad.

Said instead: Please remember to use soap in the shower – it’s good to get squeaky clean.
I was thinking: You still stink – what happened? Did the smell scare the soap away?

Said instead: How would you feel if someone played a practical joke like that on you?
I was thinking: Next time, fold up a straw and stick it in the water fountain like this, the water will really shoot out and squirt the next kid right in the face!

Said instead: I’ll turn your night light on, okay?
I was thinking: The dark is nothing to be afraid of. I’ve been in it since I married your mother.

Everybody’s got at least one. What’s your “Said Instead?”

Jon writes our “When a Toddler Turns Teen” posts here on the blog because believe it or not, your adorable bundle of joy will grow up…

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3 Responses to “What I Said Instead”

  1. Jared March 28, 2008 at 3:33 pm #

    Good post! It’s funny how you can’t be yourself in front of your kids sometimes.

    My said instead: Mmmm. Yum Yum. (As I take a finger tip of baby food and swallow it.)

    I was thiking: Who in their right mind would purree a turkey and eat it with a spoon! You want some cheese puffs? I can help you eat those… :D

  2. Jim Deitzel March 28, 2008 at 3:47 pm #

    This is SUPER funny! Especially the one about the soap being scared of the smell.

    Below is one that I use often with my daughter.

    Said instead: Wow, you look nice.

    I was thinking: Are you kidding me. Go back upstairs, comb your hair, brush your teeth, change your clothes and come back when you look human.

    Thanks for a good laugh on a late Friday afternoon!

  3. Jeff's Place April 10, 2008 at 4:05 pm #

    Jon-
    Darn funny!!
    I love the “…i’ve been in it since I married your mother.”
    That made me laugh for quite a while!!

    Thanks!

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