And here’s Amy… (still on maternity leave!!)
When thinking of everything I’d do as an “Experienced Mom,” there were definitely a few things that I planned on improving the second time around – especially in the early months.
Yet, here I am at 3am watching TV and typing with a sleeping baby on my lap. Hmmmm. According to my plans the baby should be asleep in the bassinet and I snug in my bed. We didn’t use a bassinet with the first baby and I didn’t sleep in my own bed for over a month. This time is supposed to be different, but the new little one has a stuffy nose and I’m afraid to let her sleep flat on her back.
And during the drive home from the hospital, I again made my husband stop the car so I could climb in the backseat to be next to the baby (yes. I did the same thing with baby #1). I couldn’t bear to have her be alone (OK with her older brother), with the sun in her eyes, and crying. It ripped my heart out.
OK. And one last example of me breaking my resolution was when I decided I was going to be more laid back this time around – yet today I spent an hour creating a spreadsheet to track feedings, poopy diapers, and wet diapers. I just want to make sure that she’s tracking OK and eating enough along the way.
Yes. I have a rationale for why I broke each resolution, but it all comes down to one simple thing. . . I love this little girl with all my heart. While I had sound reasons why I wanted to change certain things with my second baby, I planned all of these when having an infant was a distant memory. Now that she’s here and I’ve fallen head over heels in love with her, when it comes down to having to choose between her comfort and mine, hands down she’s going to win every time.
I’m still hopeful that I will use the bassinet one of these days and that I can sleep in my own bed, but if that doesn’t work out then at least I’ll have lots of quality bonding time with my little girl (and the DVR!).