We had recently celebrated our 100th post here on the Graco Blog. We received a host of good suggestions and encouraging comments to Lindsay’s commemorative post on the subject. A truly nice moment. Then, conferring with Lindsay a day or so later on a different topic, she brought up some of the comments we’d received to that post – then explained that we’d like to improve (naturally), and be responsive (of course), and (blah, blah, blah). Sorry, lost focus at that point – I knew what was coming. She showed me a suggestion from Joeprah that said “you maybe could use some witty one-liners, ahem.”
So then she proceeded to tell me that she thought that with my sense of humor, my off-the-wall take on parenting, my being inappropriate, I would be to go-to guy who should take a stab at some witty one-liners (like I’m Jay Leno but with less hair, money and chin).
I told Lindsay I don’t know any jokes, I’m really not sure…INAPPROPRIATE!?! Hey, wait a minute….
JD: “What do you mean I’m inappropriate?”
LL: “Well, you know. You always say inappropriate things around the office – in meetings.”
JD: “I do? What’s inappropriate exactly?”
LL: (back peddling) “Um, well…but it’s always in a funny way – c’mon, you know how you always make comments that make people laugh but are ….”
So there it is – I’m inappropriate! I was okay with Lindsay’s sense of humor acknowledgment, even her “off-the-wall” assessment, but…INAPPROPRIATE? ME?!? I beg to differ. I may, from time to time, say what’s on my mind or offer a little too much information, but this is what I consider inappropriate:
• Your son belching at the dinner table. (unless it’s done at the in-laws, in which case trophies are awarded) That’s inappropriate!
• Your son calling you “Dude” and having to be reminded – it’s pronounced “Dad.”
That’s inappropriate! (one more time and I’m sending him for speech therapy)
• Your son somehow catching bees out in the backyard, bringing them in the house so they can get loose and make your wife scream. That’s inappropriate! (I’ve never heard another sound quite like that in the natural world, really)
• Your son lying down on the sidelines during a soccer game. That’s inappropriate!
(He said he was “pacing himself”)
• Your son, who has a black eye because of a wiffle ball you hit, tells the folks at child care that “My dad hit me” but leaves out the part about the wiffle ball just to watch you squirm. That’s inappropriate! (He did get extra-credit in school that day for the new phrase he learned: “Child Welfare”)
So to Joeprah (who is a terrific guy – turned me on to an awesome new camera), sorry, but I suppose the “witty one-liners” will have to wait. And to Lindsay, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal, you’ve got kids – so wait…just wait. Sooner or later, you’ll see some real definitions of inappropriate.
And one more thing, I just asked my son the other night if HE thought I was inappropriate. He said “Inappropriate? Nah, inapairo’ boxers-watchin’ Sports Center.”