As many people now know, I am expecting baby #2 in July. What most people don’t know is that this is my third pregnancy. Back in July I was pregnant with my second child, but had some problems in the beginning. I went to the doctor & underwent some tests. At one point, my doctor thought I had an ectopic pregnancy (in which I had to go to the emergency room to make sure that I didn’t). Thankfully this was not the case, but I did miscarry three days later.
This event, as you can imagine, changed my view on pregnancy. I realize now that you can’t take it for granted that you will get pregnant or that you will have a healthy pregnancy (as was the case for PP). So, when I got pregnant three months later, I was a different person. With my first pregnancy, I told everyone right away thinking that nothing would go wrong. This time around, my frame of mind was much different. When I told my husband & my immediate family that I was expecting, I told them “don’t get attached to this one, just in case.” I even had an ultrasound at 6.5 weeks & saw the heartbeat but I was still hesitant to tell a lot of people since I wasn’t sure if something could go wrong. What should have been a happy time for me and my family was wrought with anxiety that something could go wrong (like last time).
One thing that I have learned through this experience is that a lot of women miscarry. I have several friends that went through this so it was at least nice to have people around you that truly understand how you are feeling. I actually feel like this has brought me even closer to those friends as we shared our stories of loss (which is why I really wanted to write this post. I wanted people to hear what I went through so someone currently going through this may be comforted. It might also be good for them to know you can get through this & happier times might be right around the corner).
Now that I am officially over the hump at 12 weeks, I am starting to celebrate this pregnancy. I am no longer anxious or hesitant to tell people. I realize now that I need to move forward and finally feel like I can. Going through all of this has helped me learn a couple of things – I’ve realized that it helps to talk about it with others- sharing in loss makes everything just a little more manageable. And, most importantly, I know I need to cherish this baby since each baby is truly a miracle & a blessing. I am really looking forward to celebrating each milestone in this pregnancy and perhaps the heartburn, sickness and fatigue will be a little more welcome this time around.