Baby’s Gender-To find out or not to find out, that is the question

No- I’m not in the middle of mulling this question over (I’m NOT pregnant Mom) but after reading Melissa’s post and waiting on edge to find out if PP was having a little brother or sister, I wanted to share my perspective on deciding about whether or not to find out the sex of a baby-to-be.

The first time around, when I was pregnant with my son, we decided to go for the surprise.  We didn’t care what we were having either way, though I was SURE it was a boy (and I was pretty excited about that honestly). Sure enough, mommy’s intuition was right on and out popped an averaged sized little baby boy with oversized lips (and that’s when the nickname Jagger was born too).  Chris ran out to the waiting room with his “New Dad” hat on and held up the “It’s a Boy!” blue ribbon for the exhausted grandparents in the waiting room.  News spread like a meme on Facebook and well wishers were calling to congratulate me on the birth of my new son. Three days later, dressed in yellow, we brought Jagger  home to his green and white lamby baby room.

The second time around we decided to find out. See, this time we were admittedly hoping for a little girl and for me, the worst thing in the world would have been to have any sense of “disappointment” there in the birthing room. I wanted only happiness and joy to fill that room- just like it did for our first. That was the deciding factor for me and for some reason 20 weeks seemed longer than 9 months to wait!

We went in for our 20-week ultrasound and when asked, “Do you want to know what it is?” we excitedly said “Yes!”  That’s when we heard, “It’s a girl.I could not believe it. A rush came over me like nothing I experienced with Jagger. Don’t get me wrong- I was over the moon about having a little boy- really I was- it’s just what I wanted, but I was just too darn exhausted and hungry to really experience the moment when they said “It’s a Boy!” (in fact, I remember questioning my husband- “Are you sure?”). So this was awesome. I could soak in all the girlish news and what came next I hadn’t gotten to experience before either – I got to be the one to tell everyone the good news. My mom had come with us but was waiting in the hallway so I got to drag her in and tell her that after 3 grandsons she was finally going to be able to buy PINK! She was so excited. Then I got to make the phone calls, return to work and tell my friends and watch their reactions. The first time around everyone knew before I had the chance to spread the news. So this was a very cool experience.

So my two experiences were very different and I’m sooo glad I chose to do it the way we did it.  I was happy to have gone the traditional (though clearly less-popular) route the first time but then the experience I had after finding out for our 2nd child was fantastic. I totally understood why 75% of you do choose to know the sex of your baby-to-be.  Whatever route you choose, it’s an amazing experience and really nothing quite prepares you for the moment when you find out if you have a son or a daughter.

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11 Responses to “Baby’s Gender-To find out or not to find out, that is the question”

  1. Lis Garrett March 17, 2009 at 10:25 am #

    I was always the impatient sort – I *had* to know! But, like you, my mother’s intuition was right the first two pregnancies. A girl, and then a boy. During our third pregnancy, we were told we were having a boy. We planned and purchased and talked to the baby as if he were a son and brother. Lo and behold! “He” turned out to be a “she”!

    My husband says after Bridget was born, all I could do was apologize over and over to her for calling her a boy throughout my pregnancy!

  2. Margaret March 17, 2009 at 10:40 am #

    Hopefully on Thursday we should find out. That will be two days shy of 19 weeks and they said they should be able to tell. I am so excited it is ridiculous. I just cannot wait. For me, I feel like it will be so much more real, and I’ll have an excuse to buy baby clothes outside of blue, green, and yellow. :) But my lamb theme stays either way. Lambs and Classic Winnie the Pooh. I just cannot help it.

  3. Emily March 17, 2009 at 11:51 am #

    I am just 10 days away from hopefully finding out and I can’t wait. I just recently did a post on whether people would choose gender if they could – I’d love to know what you think!

  4. bessie.viola March 17, 2009 at 12:41 pm #

    My husband and I waited to find out. Throughout my pregnancy I was convinced I was having a boy… hearing “It’s a girl!” after 23 hours of labor and an eventual c-section was the best surprise ever.

    We’ll wait to find out again next time, as we’ll know the birth date/time and everything else beforehand. Need SOME surprises to get us through life, don’t we?

    Your story is sweet, though… you got to experience the best of both worlds!

  5. Elaine March 17, 2009 at 1:00 pm #

    I’m debating this right now. I have two boys and am pregnant now and I think you make valid point about finding out in the delivery room and possibly being disappointed. (it would be nice to add a little pink to our family but I’m not counting on it…) So, you probably helped me make my decision. Thanks! : )

  6. feener March 17, 2009 at 3:23 pm #

    i did it both ways as well, first one we found out, second we left as a surprise. i had girls both times, and quite frankly probably wanted boys both times (although NOW i realize how wonderful my girls are and would never trade it in), but i really liked KNOWING before hand. i felt you had more time to bond with the baby….

  7. Laura Derrico (teutonia usa) March 17, 2009 at 6:42 pm #

    I also followed the same path as Lindsay…we were surprised with our first and I couldn’t wait the second time around! So we found out and we will have two boys!!! We are thrilled, along with our son who is four and already planning out how he is going to be the best big brother. I know some people have asked if I was dissapointed that I am not having a girl…I can be quite the girly, girl but the thought of disappointment never crossed my mind when the gender was announced. I was sooo excited when the woman conducting the ultrasound announced- “It’s a Boy!” I am so happy to have two boys- I also look at it this way, I get to be the only princess in the house ;) Truthfully, either way you find out is such a beautiful experience!

  8. BananaBlueberry March 18, 2009 at 9:06 am #

    I agree that both ways are great- we are talking about bringing babies into the world- and that is ALL GOOD :) We have friends who have 5 boys- and didn’t find out with any of them; the mom has said to me, “I’m thrilled! I wouldn’t know what to do with a girl :) ” Being a boy mom myself, I agree with the above comment about ‘being the queen’… and my friend’s 5 boys all put her on a pedestal… that being said- it’s cool that all the comments and this post are basically saying that it’s all good, and healthy babies are good- regardless of gender :)

  9. Steph @ Problem Solvin Mom March 18, 2009 at 10:49 am #

    One of my friends told me, “it’s a surprise either way, you just need to decide when you’re going to find out!” We waited with my daughter, and we are going to wait again this time. I honestly can’t tell you which gender I’d prefer this time – I’m just rooting for healthy – so it’s probably easier on me to let the anticipation build that way.

  10. Deb - Mom of 3 Girls March 18, 2009 at 10:24 pm #

    We found out all three times. With our first, I really wanted to know and my hubby didn’t really care. With our second, he really wanted to know, while I really didn’t care. And with our third, we both really wanted to know – he was convinced we were having a boy that time, so it’s probably good that he had some time to get over the shock when we found out she was a girl. :)

  11. winning forex April 30, 2009 at 6:50 pm #

    It looks like we have similar ideas on this subject.