And let me assure you, that through each and every failed cycle I’ve endured, my husband has loved me, held me, supported me (and I him) every step of the way. We have done everything we could to ensure that our babies (the two we conceived and then lost) were brought into the world in a loving, warm environment, enabled by medical science. We took every step to ensure there was love and committment reflected in what is, in the end, a deeply clinical and painful process, particularly for those of us who do not succeed and who, as we are now doing, finally reach the place of giving up.

Only people who had children easily ever say that couples should accept their infertile lot in life.

Your thoughts on this are, I’m sure, not remotely appreciated by anyone in the community that strives for the joy of parenthood.

However I do wish to take issue with the ever increasing use of IVFET today. I am saddened by the treatment of IVFET by leading voices in the parenting industry who throw credence to the ability to conceive children “in glass.” While IVFET does seemingly offer hope to those undergoing fertility issues, it is never the prudent choice for many reasons, two of which I will lay out here.

Primarily IVFET circumvents the natural conjugal relationship that is the only natural environment in which children are to be conceived. This is natural law. Therefore IVFET usurps the rights children have to be conceived within the natural loving act between husband and wife, not in a lab by a third party. Secondly, it treats those human persons conceived ultimately as objects to be gained, and furthermore sentences the majority of them to death by either a failed Embryo Transfer(the ET that is usually missing from the acronym) or in a suspended state of deep freeze which will ultimately lead to their death. Never are they referred to as small human persons, which they are, yet viables, zygotes, embryos, blastocysts, etc. You see, your children were children from the moment they were conceived, not later when they were unfrozen and “hatched” as you say. (I would ask you not to refer to human life as ever being “hatched” as that belongs to reptiles, birds and some other mammals.)

IVFET does offer hope in a perverted sense of the word, but it is a counterfeit hope based on the end always justifying the means; this is never prudent when human life is involved. Children are a great end, but this doesn’t justify an illicit means to gain them. Those afflicted with infertility should endeavor to find the root cause of their infertility and seek to correct the issues prudently and ethically. Such as the work of Dr. Thomas Hilgers, M.D. and his work with Naprotechnology which helps women overcome fertility with an understanding of how and why their bodies are not performing well.

Sometimes, we may have to accept the fact, that as hard as it is to believe, that we cannot have children, or that we were not meant to have children. The truth is that children are gifts to be received when given, not objects to be obtained when desired. All the great intentions can’t change the logical conclusions here, and the best choice is to truly love our children in this way.

The sooner we can shift this thought, the better and happier we will truly be. Thank you for your time to say what is never said, and I wish you and everyone reading this the very best in the future.