To Become a Working Mom or Not?
Posted by Kim Lefko in July 9th 2009
I’m a proud, working outside-of-the-home mom with two little girls; a vivacious (at times sassy) 3 year old and a sensitive 11 month old. I’m a reader, an information seeker, a challenger in every area of my life. When I embarked on this journey of “working mother,” I was scared and looked for the answer to the age old question…BALANCE. How do you achieve the balance? How do you be a mom and work and do both incredibly well without compromising one? I can honestly tell you…the answer doesn’t exist. And I believe this sense of balance is a fallacy.
I was inspired to write this post after reading a comment on a recent 360 Peer Feedback for my professional development. The comment from one of my direct reports read:
“I’m inspired by Kim’s desire for work life balance, which I feel is seemingly impossible for her to achieve in her global role. But I’m grateful she’s my manager and respects the need for balance and sincerely encourages that family moments take priority.” At first, I could have cried reading this feedback. I perceived the comment as “Kim is failing at achieving balance and is set-up to fail!”! My professional coach found the ‘cool’ aspect of the comment in the admiration and appreciation for this value I bring to my team.
So this post is a tribute to all mothers working outside of the home. I’m incredibly blessed to be given the perfect situation and support network; I work for the best company & brand with an extremely family-friendly feel, I have a nanny (our dreamer & believer) who is an absolute angel and blessing in our lives and my husband is remarkable.
Seriously, my husband rocks! He was my biggest cheerleader for returning to work (I think for his own sanity) but he believes in me and offers the necessary encouragement at those pivotal moments. A text message I received recently from my husband said; “our daughters will thank you one day for the example you are setting. You go power mommy!”
I think often of the many women who do the same thing I do every day but face adversity. And maybe you aren’t getting these encouraging text messages. Here is my message for you: You go girl!! And today I encourage you to take a moment to celebrate YOU and YOUR success as a power mommy.
And to all working moms – I think it’s important to find solace and wonder in not seeking balance. Balance in its definition is about always working against one aspect of your life. Imagine the idea of having to balance on a board for a long period of time? It’s painful to imagine. So why would we encourage that for anyone? Instead…my husband has said ‘be 100% present and happy’ in everything you do. He’s right! So I seek PRESENCE & HAPPINESS in my two roles of:
Working Professional Woman and Loving Wife & Mother
I want to thank all husbands of working moms – thank you for the long loving hugs on those rough days, changing diapers on those running late mornings, making dinner for no special occasion and for the encouraging text messages that get us through the day.
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I would also like to echo Kim’s thoughts on the challenges of being a working mom. It is so important to have a spouse that supports you as you work all day (and he works all day) then both have to share responsibilities at night and on the weekends. Being almost 38 weeks pregnant with my second daughter, I am exhausted when I come home at night. My husband (who is on his feet all day working retail) takes on the responsibility of caring for my very active 3-year-old then gives her a bath & puts her to bed so I can lay in bed resting. I’m lucky, huh?
Also to echo Kim’s sentiment, Graco is an awesome place to work. It is extremely family friendly here and everyone is understanding regarding family obligations/emergencies. And I get to enjoy some of the perks, like “Stork Parking!”
What a nice article! I, too am the daughter of a little girl and believe that I am teaching her about all her choices when she grows up. I have worked in an office, I’ve taken time out to not work, I now run my own business…and she, too can do all of these things at different times in her “career life” when she grows up.
I also find balance unachievable…I prefer to have work/life flexibility – because sometimes work takes precedence and sometimes other priorities do (currently it’s being present during swim lessons for encouragement and support.)
Thank you for this very nice article. And don’t forget to thank your husband. He rocks as well!
Kim, what an inspiring post, especially for those of us who are expecting for the first time! I, too, will be looking to adopt this advice I prepare to be a working outside-of-the-home mom.
I like to call it work/life flexibility to avoid setting myself up for disappointment. Every day brings new challenges and I agree, some days we manage better than others. But, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t at least try to have the best of both worlds: career and motherhood. I encourage all moms to achieve both personal and professional aspirations. We can do it… we just need to support one another along the way.
Your girls are absolutely beautiful by the way!
Bradi
Co-Founder, MyWorkButterfly.com
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As a working mom of three, I find it’s the challenge of my life- to balance what is important with what is necessary.
I went to the link you give to get the free gift card for toys from Kmart but it says I am not in USA and do not qualify, do you know if Kmart is doing this in canada too?