Does having kids change your friendships?

bestfriends2I feel like I’ve been hearing a lot about this topic lately from so many different perspectives.

For example, one of my girlfriends is just starting to think about having kids soon. While her husband is ready to start trying, she’s not quite sure she’s ready for that step just yet. When I asked her why, she explained that one of the biggest reasons she’s unsure is because she would be one of only a few women in her group of friends to have children. She’s worried it would change these relationships and possibly make them grow apart. I said I didn’t think that was true, but is it?

Another recent story was from a friend of mine with a daughter who is absolutely inseparable from her best friend.  They want to do everything together, so she sees this little girl’s parents practically every day (sometimes more). She says they are extremely nice, but does that mean they need to be HER best friends too?

Then, even in the book I’m reading there’s a story – the main character said that she never had any girlfriends until she finally did have a child, and it helped her find her two most wonderful friends in the world. They bonded over the fact that they had children who were similar ages. This allowed them to find a common ground when they might not have ordinarily become friends, and she was so greatful for that.

Have your kids (or has your pregnancy) changed your relationships with your friends?

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2 Responses to “Does having kids change your friendships?”

  1. Naomi October 15, 2009 at 10:08 pm #

    Absolutely. I used to be much more spontaneous about hanging out with friends but now everything revolves around my kids. I am sure I’ll have more “me” time once they’re a bit older but for right now I reserve the right to fink out on plans at the last minute and be in bed by 10pm… not necessarily making me the most fun girlfriend.

  2. Ashley February 11, 2010 at 4:46 pm #

    I think it does change things. Before I found out I was pregnant, I was invited to all the events my friends planned or went to and as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I stopped getting the invites. Do people think because you are pregnant you can no longer have fun? I never drank when I went out before and I always had a great time, so why now that I am pregnant, people assume things are different. I can tell you one thing, when you are pregnant or have children, you find our real fast who your true friends are ha! I can’t complain though, I have made a lot more friends who themselves have children since I got pregnant and they do suite my life style now a lot better.

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