Don’t Compare Your Children…Really?

comparing-kidsHow many times do we hear, no two children are alike? It’s just so hard to believe and even more challenging to refrain yourself from comparing. My husband and I have been writing journals for our girls since we were pregnant with them. We write at least two to three times a month. Cute stories, milestones, what’s going on in the world and more. Well I had no idea these journals would come back to haunt me and make the “Don’t Compare Your Children” seemingly impossible. As every parent knows, you worry about little things. On Love Bug’s first birthday, I thought it is weird she is not saying more words. So I pulled out Bear’s journal to see how much she was saying at one year. Oh boy…that wasn’t a good idea. Even worse, when I made the suggestion at the dinner table, “I think we should put Love Bug into speech therapy.” Needless to say, my husband thought someone else needed therapy.

I am going to get lambasted for doing this…but it makes me chuckle.
At ONE Year

BEAR                                                                     LOVEBUG
4 Teeth                                                                 10 Teeth
Not crawling yet…but so close                              All over the place.
No hair                                                                  A ton of hair

Okay I will admit the comparisons started very basic and quite innocent…

BEAR:  She knew five signs in sign language at one year – More, Please, Book, Milk, All Done

LOVEBUG:  In complete desperation, Love Bug will sign “more” for her favorite foods – yogurt or applesauce. But she prefers the grunting and screaming method.

BEAR:  She said 5 words on her first birthday

LOVEBUG:  Does “ogibiv” count? We don’t know what it means either.

BEAR:  She loved sitting quietly reading her books.

LOVEBUG:  Books and sitting quietly? Hmm. Love Bug thinks story time is for “climbing on daddy and playing airplane”

I find solace in talking to the other Graco moms who find it hard ‘not’ to compare. Kristin and I recently have been commiserating on the fact our baby girls aren’t talking like their big sisters. But there is something we both share with our baby girls that we love – they are mommy’s girls and want us to hold them whenever we are in the room. We will take that any day, all day long!

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One Response to “Don’t Compare Your Children…Really?”

  1. Lindsay Lebresco October 23, 2009 at 9:02 pm #

    Anyone who says they don’t compare their children are lying through their teeth. I did the exact same thing- pulled out the baby book when B (second child) wasn’t talking near as much as Jagger (a boy, the first) by her first birthday. Here’s what I found in this department- she mumbled & didn’t say much for quite a long time and then within weeks, I swear she was talking in full sentences. It’s like the kids who go from crawling to running in no time!
    I’ve also found as they’ve gotten older where one kid is slow, the other excelled. Jagger is a whiz at numbers, letters, reading (almost!), etc where B is incredibly independent- dressing herself & going to the potty independently all at 2 years old (B actually helps Jagger button his coat!)
    Comparing is absolutely natural & normal- as long as it’s to appreciate the differences and not for deciding which one is “better.”