Before babies, DH and I were a two income household. We both liked our careers, and we often discussed that future children would more than likely be in day care. Moving to a new city a year ago, we again prepared ourselves that we would need to tackle the challenge of finding day care for our children once DH found a job. Interestingly enough, the current state of the economy had alternate plans for him once we got to Georgia.
Making lemonade from lemons, we rationalized that there was definitely a bright side to DH not working. Since we moved in June, Baby wouldn’t start kindergarten until August. We decided it would be best for both kids to be home with dad for the summer. What I didn’t count on, was the amount of personal jealousy that would result.
We agreed to be two working parents. Now, I was the only one getting up early and leaving every day. Alone. No daily trips to the park. No fun afternoons lounging by the pool. I was the one left out. I felt angry, even though I knew I was doing what was best for my family. I felt I was the one sacrificing everything, but in fact, we did move for my job. DH had already sacrificed enough. He deserved a fun summer vacation with his children, right?
Second, I used every opportunity to plan fun activities with the kids on the weekend. Nobody packs a better picnic lunch than mom (except maybe my own mom), and it’s crazy how a simple packed lunch makes an every day trip to the park seem special.
Third, always remember the grass is always greener on the other side. I may have deadlines and meetings, but daddy has dirty diapers and dinner to cook. Together we help each other focus on alternate priorities making our family stronger from our decisions.
Will we ever be back to a two income family? Time will only tell. Maintaining a happy family and a healthy marriage is work — but it’s all worth it in the end.
Are you ever jealous of your spouse’s time spent with the kids? How do you cope and improve the situation?