Guest Post: Melissa from Full Circle is back!

The wonderful Melissa from Full Circle is back again to share another glimpse into her journey to motherhood via foster to adopt. I know you are all on the edge of your seat waiting for an update to last Tuesday’s post, so without further adieu…

Heeeeeere’s Melissa!


When foster children move from one home to another, our county’s hope is to transition them slowly. The time taken depends on the age of the child. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how it happens.

Out of all our cases, we’ve only had one “proper” transition. We got the call on 4 ½ year old twins “Jack” & “Jill” (names changed for privacy purposes) on a Sunday afternoon. Not only was it a weekend, it was a 3 day weekend…total red flag to us it was an emergency.

Jill was quite ill the day they arrived. She had a fever and rested on the couch as we did the intake paperwork with our social worker. Jack played on the floor, happy to be with us (long back-story there). If her health declined we were advised to take her to the doctor immediately.

It did (of course) and we were off.

In our first 3 hours of being foster parents, we were sitting in Urgent Care. The verdict? Type A Influenza. Looking back, I think having to nurse her back to health helped us bond much quicker.

When they came to us, Jack was a shell of a boy. You could hardly understand him when he spoke (Jill typically interpreted) and he was quiet and shy. Jill was cute as a button and smart as a whip. It was clear she was used to being the boss and center of attention.

As the months passed Jack blossomed into a shiny little star. He had a big personality and amazing sense of humor. When Jill would try to steal his thunder he would give her THE HAND and tell her to stop. It was his time to talk. :-)

Going into this journey, I never stopped to consider the ripple effect the kiddos would have on our family. Although initially hesitant of our foster/adopt decision, our extended family welcomed the children with open hearts. Everyone fell head over heels in love with our twins. It was impossible not to. They jumped in feet first, sharing the joy and laughter.

And in the end, they would also grieve deeply.

8 months later the twins had a “proper” transition back. It took a week of spending time at a bio family member’s home, which increased daily. We smiled and were happy for them, masking our great sorrow. The day they loaded in the van and I gave them final kisses will haunt me forever. I was told not to let them see me cry and I did not.

How, I will never know.

Our home went from buzzing with activity to dead silence. I spent the first full day they were gone (a Friday) in bed. That weekend I scrubbed our home from top to bottom. Cleaning Therapy. We were supposed to have several months to recover, to mourn and get healthy. To learn to breathe again. Monday I returned to work and relieved to get back into a normal routine. However, that afternoon, I got a call…

Another emergency…

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Darn you, Melissa!
Another CLIFFHANGER!
Stay tuned for more from Melissa as she continues to share her foster/adopt story.

Are you a mom that started with foster/adopt? We’d like to hear from you too.

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2 Responses to “Guest Post: Melissa from Full Circle is back!”

  1. paula schuck March 30, 2011 at 11:07 am #

    This is a really lovely feature blog. Thanks. My family started with foster to adopt. I am horrified though by your story that only one situation was a proper transition. That’s terrible. I run an adoptive parent support groupo, write often about adoption and issues on my blog over at http://www.thriftymommastips.blogspot.com/
    and really hate to hear that we are doing these things wrong still. I have no doubt that you being able to nurse the little girl back to health helped her to bond. It is a great opportunity to demonstrate how a parent should care for a child. I have heard from parents who say it was actually a blessing when their new placement (school aged child) came home with lice. Why, because they had to sit for hours and pick out the little things gently and with love and there’s no way to escape that. Sometimes odd things work for our kids. Keep writing!

    Paula
    @inkscrblr

  2. Melissa @ Full Circle April 6, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

    Paula, thank you for your kind words! Yes, it is such a shame when the kids don’t have a proper transition.. getting moved is hard enough! I think we can all agree our kiddos are absolute heroes and have amazing resilience.

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