I’m inspired to write this blog for a dear friend of mine. It’s a bit personal but is intended to provide hope to others enduring the same struggles.

My daughter’s favorite movie, Charlotte’s Web, has a beautiful theme song – Ordinary Miracle. The song’s message holds a life mantra we all should practice:

Life is like a gift they say,
Wrapped up for you everyday.
When you wake up everday
Please don’t throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Because we are all a part of the Ordinary Miracle today

As my husband and I anxiously await the arrival of our 2nd baby this summer, we feel blessed to be given the opportunity to become parents again and are still awe struck by the miracle of life growing inside of me. We struggled with infertility for years and turned to in-vitro 3 years ago with our daughter, Bear. As we experience another successful round of in-vitro with this pregnancy we keep the faith that miracles are happening around us everyday.

During infertility struggles you remain silent searching for success stories. Unfortunately, when you are trying to get pregnant without success, it seems to be in the water for everyone around you. It’s painful to hear baby announcement after baby announcement. At one point I thought my career at Graco would have to change – how could I surround myself with babies EVERYDAY? And the question you can’t seem to understand or answer, haunts your every thought…Why won’t it happen for us?

And there is NO WAY you are going to talk with friends or co-workers. SILENCE is your perception of the best solution. At least silence prevents the heartache and guaranteed tears that will begin to flow when you see the empathy & pain in anothers eyes. Deep down inside, you also know that other people can’t relate and there is nothing they can say that will FIX the problem…so it’s best to save them the awkwardness and yourself the anguish.

At least that is what I thought. Looking back, I wished I talked more- especially to my family (my husband would agree with that, since he was the lucky recipient of my every thought and worry).
BUT…the minute you have success with in-vitro (Clomid, IUI, etc) ) you can’t say enough. I volunteer that our Bear is a successful in-vitro baby and the same with this pregnancy. It may be awkward for some people to hear however, if I can impact ONE couple with hope that THIS TOO shall happen for them, I’m thrilled.

I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason – my husband & I struggled for a reason. We won’t know why – but I share our story as one of hope & optimism for those enduring the same heartaches of infertility. Because, it was stories like these that gave me strength to keep believing during our 5 years of failed attempts to have children.

My advice…
Have Faith, Relax, Count Your Blessings and…
Enjoy the miracles happening around you everyday.

In my daughter’s words, “Happy to Us”
In a mother’s words, don’t stop believing miracles can happen to YOU!

“Honey, I swear I see two lines! Do you?”  The excitement burning inside, we are elated, giddy and the feeling comes; there is no way we can go 3 months without telling anyone. There is one upside about waiting 3 months before the big announcement…you have plenty of time to get creative.

We have 13 nieces & nephews and needless to say my brothers & sisters are extremely creative when it comes to announcing the news. My husband and I were anxious for the day it would be our turn…and how would we announce to our family?

I love this topic, especially now, since, not too long ago, we shared the news of our 2nd pregnancy with our family. (Baby #2 due in July)

This announcement was fun – we were celebrating our daughter’s 2nd birthday. Our entire family was coming into town; so we decided to do a “Year in Review” video for our daughter. It ended with her Goal List for 2008 — which included the hard task of “becoming a big sister”. Needless to say our families were thrilled, a lot of screaming, crying and hugging. (the “goal list” is another blog for another day)

Announcing to your family takes one tone and announcing to your team-members at work is an entirely differently deal. I wanted to explain the reason for my growing waistline to my marketing team at Graco. You can imagine how news spreads in an office setting – and I wanted to be sure to tell everyone on the team ‘myself’. You should never break-up via email; but nobody said anything about pregnancy announcement via email.

I was quite impressed with the response time to my email (especially given the timing of 5pm on a Friday) – I received a phone call within 1 minute of pushing send and that phone call was quickly interrupted by 2 young ladies screaming (one pictured here) as they ran into my office. It’s fun to work here and even more fun working with the people on the marketing team!

So I had some fun pulling some of the best ways…and I have created a Top 10 List.

Top 10 Ways to Announce “We’re Pregnant”:
10. Email the ultrasound picture to your family
9. A picture says a thousand words, yes that’s the EPT test.
8. Wrap a baby shoe as a gift to your family or husband
7. If there is an older sibling – the t-shirt announcing “I’m going to be a BIG Sister/Brother” is a sure win
6. My sister-in-law gave my mom a teapot (she collects them) and inside was a note that read; “Time For Tea and Baby #3. Clever!!
5. That same family (they have 6 amazing kids) – met my parents for dinner at a quaint restaurant and my parents were quite excited when they saw the Pink & Blue balloons at the table when they arrived.
4. From a dad-to-be to the future grandpa, “It looks like we will need additional Football Tickets this season”
3. Put an ultrasound picture on your Holiday Card (our special gift is arriving in July)
2. Have a bouquet of balloons (pink & blue) delivered to work or a grandparent’s house
1. And the BEST announcement ever…Anonymous post on a Family Website “Guess Who’s Pregnant”

Any additional ideas you could share with our parents-to-be??

It’s time to put the “O” back in Mommy and the “O” is Optimism!! How many articles are written about sleep deprived mothers, the challenges of balancing motherhood and work, how to whittle that waistline from baby #3 and more…

There is so much to celebrate about motherhood and we would all agree that even after a ‘tough’ day with a toddler, the next morning we can’t wait to get our little bundles out of bed. I think the “O” fell out of mommy when the tone took a shift…look at these “why’s” vs “why nots”
• Why the terrible twos? Why not the tremendous twos?
• Why is it sleep deprivation? Why not sleep efficiency?
• Why is it a struggle to balance being a working mom? Why not a gift to have the choice?

So, I’m going to go there…probably the ONLY conflict that exists between mothers today. Do you work or stay-home? (Also as a point of clarification Work-for-pay vs. Stay-at-home moms…because both are jobs) How many times have you been in a similar situation; you run into a complete stranger in the aisle of a Target – and as soon as you both realize you’re mothers, a conversation can spark-up with incredible energy and excitement. The only topic most women tiptoe around is “do you work or do you stay home”.  And I truly believe there is an envy and jealousy that triggers as a result of the other woman’s answer. And why the envy AND jealousy? …because we live in a world where we WANT IT ALL.

My point of view- why have a strong opinion about one over the other because both are GREAT!

Obviously, I’m a “work-for-pay” mother  (as I’ve now heard it put) and I wanted to offer an “optimistic” point-of-view for all working mothers out there. I had an awesome conversation with a great friend of mine (Tracy), who is also a working mother. As we sat on the beach we posed the question to each other; “If everything in your life remained the same; if you had the choice would you choose to work?” Put another way, “If you could remove the worries of providing stability and opportunities for your family, would you choose to work?”

My friend so eloquently described the situation a little differently; we shouldn’t get wrapped up in making the right decision for your family – staying home or returning to work. Rather, we should find peace in the idea that we have a choice! Every day we have the choice to work is a day to celebrate, because think about the many women who came before us. They didn’t have the luxury & freedom of choosing. The choice is what all women who came before achieved for us.

So next time we read Mommy Wars (looking for the answer on ‘how to have it all’)…celebrate the idea we have a choice. Here is a favorite quote that summarizes the sentiment, “Life is a journey and we can take a turn or detour anytime we want”. This quote offers incredible solace knowing that our decisions never have to be permanent.

Enjoy the journey of motherhood! Today we celebrate YOU!!

Winnie the Pooh said it best; “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I don’t have to live without you.”

It’s hard to believe a 2 year old can teach a life lesson…but it happens when you least expect it. Our daughter, Bear, is teaching us about the importance, beauty and happiness in life that comes from having a BEST FRIEND. Everyone needs one, even a 2 year old. It’s been quite amazing and a bit of a miracle to watch these two little girls connect – even before they could communicate. Bear’s best friend is “Dee”. They met when they were 6 months old at Little Gym. And it’s been a blossoming friendship ever since.
You ask Bear who her best friend is…and quickly “Dee” becomes the topic of conversation – Bear lights up when she knows she is going to see Dee or when she is telling me about their afternoon in the park. I love to see how friendship can transform the spirit of a child.

The best part – they expect nothing from each other, rather they delight in any and every moment they get together. Whether it is playing in their new kitchen from Santa, sharing cupcakes at their birthday parties, splashing in the pool or most recently signing up for their FIRST Dance Class.

 Dee and Bear are the only children in their families and that may be driving this special friendship, when you have siblings you have built-in best friends. I’m fortunate to have 2 older brothers and a sister who are some of my best friends. But I still envy the beauty of the special friendship between these 2 year olds.

And the beauty of this friendship is the simplicity! So the lesson my husband and I are amazed by is that as adults we overcomplicate our friendships with expectations and in return can destroy the authenticity of what friendship is all about in the first place.

Seeing the world through the eyes of a child – it’s truly remarkable.
We would love to hear the story of your child’s best friend and lessons you’ve learned.

I hate the titles that are given to an all-important role in our world…nannies, caregivers, au pairs, baby sitters. Frankly, if you look at what a “nanny” does – it would be more inspiring and respectful to reference her by her daily activities; she is a Story-Teller, a boo-boo kisser, a cuddler, a climber, a dancer, a puppeteer and most importantly a dreamer & believer. (which I will explain later)

Every working mother knows that angst and daunting feeling; what will I do for childcare? We begin assessing, rationalizing, making lists, talking to other working moms and questioning everything. Every child is special – and ours is no different, we want them to be treated that way.

When I returned to work, I was looking for non-traditional child care. I wanted something small & quaint with personalized attention. In-home child care was the way for our family. So the search began…wow, how overwhelming and intimidating. At the time I wouldn’t have put it past myself to begin practicing the non-respectable “nanny poaching”.

I had visions of the Mary Poppins — and with incredible faith that everything happens the way it’s suppose too…into our lives walked Ali. (I call her our answered prayer, guardian angel and so much more)

Ali has been a part of our family for 2 years and she is soooo much more than a “nanny”, a “caregiver”, a “babysitter”. Frankly these titles disgust me…because they take the personal love & attentiveness she gives Bear away. Inside our home Ali is the little sister I never had, our Mary Poppins and most importantly our little girl’s DREAMER & BELIEVER.

What do I mean by “Dreamer & Believer”??? We all know that every child has no inhibition when it comes to daydreaming. But I soon realized that a child will begin believing in themselves and their dreams AFTER they see others believing in THEM. No daydream is too big for Ali to encourage and dream along with our little Bear. That’s why we call her our Dreamer & Believer.

Ali lives the awe-inspiring quote from Rose Kennedy; “One hundred years from now the world may be different because of the role I played in the life of a child.” This is not a job for Ali, it’s a passion.

I think about the Nanny Diaries – my husband and I are not the absent parents, rather Ali has endured her fair share of overly-structured parenting. We welcomed her with a 32 page binder, monthly goal sheets, family meetings, discipline scale and a daily feedback form. And to think Ali can smile respectfully, pick-up our little girl (kiss her on the cheek) and say; “come-on Bear let’s go to the basement and make a fort”. We love her with all of our heart.

The lesson for me is to never casually reference someone as a “nanny” – rather recognize the gift they are giving a child by “dreaming & believing” with them.

Children are our future and the “dreamers & believers” are significant enablers.

When you don’t have children, it’s easy to be a “drive-by parent”.

My husband & I have 12 amazing nieces and nephews and it was fun to sit back and say; “we will never_____” – you can fill in the blank. We said it all. This parenting thing is going to be so EASY! Well – 2 years into our parenthood journey and at times it seems impossible to be rational when your child is hurting. You do crazy things that don’t make sense, like give your child a cookie at 8am. Or reading 5 books when you said only 2.

As a parent there are times that your children are hurting and you would do anything to take the pain away. We had this very moment last weekend. Bear was turning two. We had been talking about how it was time to get rid of the pacifiers; Bear has so fondly called her pacifier “boppy” since she was able to talk. Now the “boppy” has been a wonderful thing in our life. Bedtime has always been a dream, Bear religiously takes a 2 hour nap every day (she just recently gave up her 2nd nap) and a nighttime of sleep is usually a minimum of 12 hours. Our girl is a dream sleeper!!

So we began researching; how do you break your 2 year old of her addiction to the “boppy”? I loved the rationalizing I found; my child only has her pacifier in bed, at 3 years old children can reason – wait until then, they will break themselves of it, and more. Let me tell you how great all of this sounded. But my husband and I had decided – 2 years old was long enough, it was time to break this little girl of her addiction. (and that is exactly what it had become, an addiction)

There were so many great techniques for breaking the binky out there:

- Leave the pacifiers out with the cookies for Santa (in exchange for toys)
- Tie the pacifiers to helium balloons and send them to Heaven
- Exchange your pacifiers for a bicycle
- And my favorite was- tell your child the binky ran off to Taco Bell

We liked the bike idea. So we began talking it up.
“Bear, you know “boppies” are for babies and bicycles are for big girls, right? Wouldn’t you love a bike? What color bike would you like? Do you want a big one or a little one?” We made such a big deal about this infamous bike. Her grandparents were calling her asking about the bike. Bear started to buy into it. We were getting excited…

THE DAY of the big exchange.

We went to Target – it was a family affair. We found the red bike, and we bought all the garb; the helmet, knee pads, basket for the front and bell. She loved it. We came home and while her father was assembling the bike, Bear gathered all of her “boppies”. Just like a big girl she threw them in the garbage. All was GREAT…until that first nap without the “boppies”. It was a disaster! We couldn’t cave on our plan – but I wanted so badly to take the hurt away from this little girl. She had a broken heart and truly didn’t know what to do with herself.

The next couple of naps & bedtimes were like we had a newborn again. But for those of you breaking your children from the pacifier…have faith, within a couple of days it passes.

So those times when you know what’s best, but your child is hurting – just have faith that “this too shall pass”. And to all of the “drive-by parents out there”…never say never.

I’m thrilled and honestly will admit, a little nervous about my first blog post.  I am excited that we get to share some of the humanity behind the Graco brand.  So many times you forget there are real moms (like myself…proud mother of a little girl, “Bear” turning 2 in January) behind companies. 

My husband and I have kept a journal for our daughter – we started the day we knew we were pregnant.  Recently, I was reading some of the early entries when Bear was a couple of days old…and I forgot about the fun we had trying to figure out the sleep schedules.  We read all of the books (Dr. Karp, Babywise, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child).  Why is it during the 2am crying your husband pretends he is sound asleep and cannot hear the scream from the other room?  Either I couldn’t wake my husband during that time or he was holding me back from going in to console our daughter.  We tried the ‘crying it out’ hoping she would learn to calm herself back to sleep –that sounds great in the afternoon but at 2am you find your husband being the enforcer saying “we had a plan!” and “if you continue running in there and consoling her, she will never learn to calm herself back to sleep.” That’s the down side of making your husband read sections of the books and talking about “our sleep plan”.  We were fortunate…our daughter became a sound sleeper when she was swaddled with a pacifier in her mouth.  After reading the journal this technique of swaddling (with a little bit of scheduling & crying it out) resulted in a successful sleeping-through-the-night at 7 weeks- Bear slept from 9pm to 5:30am.  I think it’s fair to say every parent feels like a miracle has just taken place, the first night your baby sleeps for 6 consecutive hours!  I know we did.  Now I find myself going into Bear’s room while she is sleeping and remembering back to the day I would rock her and experience the calm and peacefulness we all desire – that moment when you rock your baby to sleep and you sit there staring at their tiny fingers & toes in total amazement of the miracle of life and the marvel of a sleeping baby. The things that parents do to create that peacefulness, especially during those first weeks.  I must say we have never looked back and wished anything were different – as a mother it truly feels like every moment gets better than the last.