While I didn’t really expect this to be a big deal (AT ALL), it apparently is. And unfortunately it is because I made it one. You see, there was a period of time a few months back where Bear didn’t quite understand that despite its fruity taste, toothpaste isn’t intended to be eaten. I would come into the bathroom and find a knocked over toothbrush on the counter, the cap to the tube strewn into the sink and an empty tube of fruity training toothpaste on the floor – a la a recent crime scene. The first few times, I just scratched my head and thought “Hmmm… I could have sworn I just bought her new toothpaste the last time I was at the store”. And then, low and behold one morning I walked into the bathroom to find Bear sitting there, gobbling up the toothpaste right out of the tube! While I can’t exactly say that I blame her (I have to admit, it does smell pretty yummy), I did quickly move in to tell her that we can’t eat toothpaste. Of course, as often is the case with 4 year olds, I had to reiterate that message a few times before it really took hold.

So when it came time to make the big switch to toothpaste with fluoride, I was of course concerned that she may mistake the “new” flavor and different cartoon characters on the tube for something edible. And with that, I made what was at the time a seemingly off-handed comment: “remember, you’re not supposed to eat toothpaste. Especially this toothpaste because it could make your tummy sick if you swallow it.” Well, as they say, knowing is half the battle and in my case I should have known that my Bear is a very literal Bear and takes everything very much to heart (in fact, she’s been known to put herself on time outs when she thinks you’re upset with her). So a seemingly off-handed comment I intended only to underscore my point has now turned her being afraid to use “big girl” toothpaste in the event that she may swallow any teeny tiny bit of toothpaste and make herself sick.

So back on the training toothpaste she goes, but we now are working on our technique for the rinse-and-spit. Slowly but surely she’s building her confidence that she can get ALL of it out of her mouth and hopefully move into the big girl toothpaste. What an unexpectedly proud moment that will be!

I have to admit, this was an amazingly fun experience! All of the things we know and love about baseball in the US were present – excited fans, vendors walking around serving yummy baseball food (though, in addition to the classics such as French fries and beer, they also had local favorites such as sushi and edamame). They also had a few customs we don’t have here in the US which were so fun. For example, when ever one of the favorite team members came up to bat, the entire stadium would sing a song that was written just for that player. In fact, when you took your seat, they handed out a song list for all of the players. And it wasn’t just a few extreme fans singing. It was literally the entire stadium. Or, at least those rooting for the home team, I should say.

Another fun custom the Japanese have at their games is during the 7th inning (which, in Japanese culture is considered a lucky number), if the home team is winning,they hand out balloons to all of the home team fans. Just when they tag out the 3rd player from the opposing team, the entire team releases their balloon into the air in celebration. It’s quite a sight to see. And with that, I’m fortunate enough that one of my colleagues caught it on film to share. Enjoy…we sure did!

As I began to pull together what seemed to be half of our possessions for our quick trip to the beach, Punkin’ Bear came scurrying upstairs with a pad and pencil in her hand excitedly. “Mommy! We don’t have everything we need! We need to write a list.” Hmmm… and here I thought I was doing pretty well with pulling it all together. But, okay let’s take a look at what we’re missing. And so I asked “Well, Bear- what am I missing? I have your hair brush, your beach towel, your shampoo and your pajamas- what else do we need?” Without hesitation, Bear pushed the pencil into my hand and said “Here, take this and write it down”. Part stunned and overwhelmingly amused, I nodded and said “Okay, go for it.”

“OKAY” she said enthusiastically. “We will need…” she started and then she began rattling off the following (oh, if you could only see her emphatic little hands swinging around the air to place emphasis on all the important words!):

• Bubbles – maybe even 2 jars. 1 for me and 1 for LadyBug (so sweet of her to remember her little sister, who not to burst her bubble –pun intended—is not quite old enough to blow bubbles yet. But a sweet thought nonetheless).
• A Kite. You HAVE to have a kite on the beach
• A watering can and gardening tools to help Nana plant flowers for summer. Of course.
• My bike (and of course I added helmet right behind this one)
• A bucket, a shovel, and that thing shaped like a crab (this would be for making fake crabs all over the beach)
• My sail boat (okay, this is actually a bath toy she loves, but hey, I see that she’s going for a theme here so I add it to the list)
• A bottle of some-scream (aka Sunscreen)

A few more requests were in there but one of us had to keep in perspective that we would be traveling in an SUV, not an 18 wheeler, and thus we couldn’t accommodate all of her beach “necessities”. So we put aside her list that night as it was getting late and time for bed. But wouldn’t you know it resurfaced the next night when Punkin’ came to check on my progress with packing the items on her list. Fortunately, I know that my little girl literally never forgets a thing and therefore had started packing her items in preparation of her questioning. As we started checking off the list, I actually started feeling like a kid myself; looking forward to our trip to the beach. Focusing on blowing bubbles, riding bikes and playing in the sand instead of all the practical things I tend to focus on when preparing for a family trip –laundry, packing, etc– really brought out the child within. In fact, I think I was more excited about getting ice cream at the beach than she was.

And the best part is that our trip to the beach was just the beginning of the summer fun. Since then, we’ve already taken a dip in the kiddie pool, had a picnic and gone to a town fair. It sure does feel good to be a feel like a kid again!

Being almost 4 years and 10 months old, they’re at such a precious age where they’re really building a beautiful bond together. They “play,” giggle and genuinely enjoy each other. I know this for a fact because Punkin’ Bear asks almost daily “Mommy, can we keep her?” followed by, “She’s just SOOOOO cute!” Maybe it’s because I didn’t have a sister growing up (don’t get me wrong, I love my brothers but that’s a different kind of special relationship!) or maybe it’s because I’m sure there will be a point – even if only for a little while—that the girls may not get along like the 2 peas in a pod they are now. But regardless, I want to capture the special connection that I can already see forming between them so that they can look back over the years and see the history that led up to the relationship they’ll inevitably have when they’re older.

So why, then, is this a “wish,” right? From the looks of all the amazing pictures I see you all posting on your blogs and Facebook pages, it appears that this elusive picture I seek should indeed be possible. Yet, for some reason it just doesn’t seem to work out for me for numerous reasons. If Punkin’ Bear is happy and smiling, than LadyBug is too distracted by her big sister to look at the camera. Or if LadyBug is looking at the camera smiling, Bear is “feeling shy” and doesn’t want to look into the camera. At one point, feeling truly determined to make this happen, I decided to put my faith in the professionals and took the girls to a photography studio. I was certain that if I couldn’t do it, they could. With visions of sugarplums and candy canes dancing in my head, I bought the girls matching outfits (not an easy feat, by the way, to find a matching infant outfit and a girls size 6 for Bear — who for being less than a month away from turning 4 is, well, taller than the average bear should I say). But, on the big day, poor little LadyBug was on the tail end of a head cold so despite my best planning effort and a lot of help from our handy nasal aspirator (an absolute must have if you’ve had as many colds we have in Bug’s first ten months of life!), poor little Bug just wasn’t her happy and smiley self and thus the picture session didn’t quite turn out the way I had envisioned.

After that, I changed my plan of attack. My new approach was to take pictures constantly thinking I was bound to catch one image that caught both girls looking happily into the camera. It was only after I was going through these pictures recently that I had this profound moment of enlightenment. I realized that what makes Bear and LadyBug’s relationship so wonderful isn’t whether they’re able to pose together –it’s that they’re connecting, sharing, interacting, and enjoying each other. That by not posing together, I was actually capturing their relationship and in fact truly documenting their first moments as sisters and as friends in their purest spirit. So, I’ve lightened up a bit on trying to capture the “perfect” picture, and am happy to capture many of their moments together to share with them later. But of course, I wouldn’t be displeased if I managed to get a picture with four eyes and two smiles facing the camera!

Well just a few days ago, I took Punkin’ Bear to school in (what I thought to be) a cute pink and brown polka dot shirt, with matching brown pants and brown and pink shoes. I was feeling pretty good because she let me pick MOST of her outfit out this time around which is rare. And even more importantly, I shaved about 10 minutes off our morning routine so we were actually able to get out the door on time! When we arrived at school, PB walked into her classroom where she was greeted by her 2 best friends -both wearing dresses. Now if that in and of itself wouldn’t have been enough to send Punkin’ into a bit of a panic, one of the little girls pointed out very clearly and firmly “WE’RE  both wearing DRESSES”. And there you had it. PB turned right out of the room and wouldn’t come back in because, in her words, she “wasn’t pretty enough”. Wow. That’s heartbreaking for a mom to see- her daughter so self conscious and upset over something that you wish you could tell her REALLY doesn’t matter. Yet, to her it does and probably will for at least the next 15+ years.

Fast forward to the next day. I decided that we were not going to have a repeat and so after a philosophical debate with myself, I decided to succumb to the peer pressure (really, I felt pressured by a group of 3-year old girls. Oh my.) and dressed Punkin’ in a dress. A sure-fire win, right? No tears, just fitting in and being happy with friends to focus on. So, we arrived at school and I felt pretty assured that PB was going to have no problems. Until that is, when her friends greeted her at the door of the classroom. Only this time, we were greeted with “WE’RE wearing PURPLE today.” Uh oh. PB was wearing pink.

And then it became clear. This new found need to pick out exactly what she wore to school everyday had more to do with wanting to be part of the group than it was a cry for more independence. And while I was really shocked that peer pressure begins so early (I thought this didn’t happen until the ‘tween’ years!) I guess it is something we’ll be facing for many years to come. I just hope that I can teach her to accept and even appreciate the wonderful differences in ADDITION to the similarities we all share.

Well, here’s another confession- I recently DID drop one of those figurative balls – and it was a big, heavy one. A few weeks ago, I took the girls to school in the morning and noticed something odd –apparently all of the parents forgot to dress their kids that day. I mean, really, how could you possibly forget to change your kids out of their pajamas (snicker, snicker!). Even I couldn’t manage to forget something so obvious. Wheew, thank goodness I’ve got MY act together. My heart went out to all of these other poor parents- they must have even more going on in their lives than me to forget such a thing.

Continuing down the hall to Punkin’s classroom I was feeling good that I had it all together. As we walked, I continued to review my mental checklist just to make myself feel even better that I was soooo on the ball. Bottles? Check. Diapers? Check. Coat, hat, gloves? Check. Hmmm. That’s odd. How could ALL of the other parents have forgotten to dress their kids today? And there it was. (Gulp!) As I took Punkin’ Bear’s coat off and put it on her hook, I saw hidden behind layers and layers of other kid’s coats, a teeny, tiny little note announcing that today was Pajama Day. Uh oh.

Looking around, I just couldn’t get over how no other parents missed that teeny tiny little note (okay, okay, so maybe it wasn’t as tiny or as hidden as I seem to recollect). Punkin’ was the ONLY one in the entire class without pajamas on. In fact, I’m pretty sure she and Bug were the only ones in the entire school not in pajamas! Sigghhh. So there I was, feeling so sad and guilty that my girls were going to miss out on their first pajama day. But I just didn’t have time to go back home, get the pajamas and still make it into the office on time for my first meeting of the day. More guilt, more guilt.

As I made it into the office with my heavy heart, I shared this awful parental misgiving with my manager; really just hoping that getting the confession off my chest would help me feel better and allow me to focus before we started our meeting. Then, a surprising thing happened- before I was even done telling my story, my manager had his coat in hand and said “Let’s go! We can’t let Punkin’ Bear be the only kid at school without pajamas on pajama day -that’s devastating! We’ll just have our meeting in your car while we go grab the PJs and take them to school.” Really?! Wow. I was AMAZED that a manager could be so understanding and compassionate. I tried to mumble an “Oh, that’s okay. Thanks for the offer…” but, thankfully, he was adamant.

And so, off we went. We were able to have our scheduled discussion in the car, en route to dropping off the pajamas (and it was surprisingly more productive given we didn’t have anything else like emails, phones, etc to distract us!). I not only got to introduce the girls to my manager, but also got to see the smile on Punkin’s face AND accomplish what I needed to accomplish for work. Truly, this was a new twist on my definition of work-life balance. And truly, I’m so lucky to work for an organization that really adds meaning to the term, not just on paper, but by carrying it out through the small things -like having a mobile meeting to help accommodate pajama day!

This seemingly simple phrase covers the larger desire for world peace so that all people and cultures can live harmoniously and safely, as well as a wish for that “inner peace” that allows us to enjoy all of the little moments the make up our lives. Right now many of us are sharing in those little moments as we gather with friends and family to celebrate the holidays, and I’m no exception. Enjoying time with my husband, Punkin’ Bear, and Lady Bug (on her first Christmas!) I wanted to send my wishes to you and your families for a very happy, and peaceful 2009 in every sense of the phrase!

And while I’m at it, I thought I’d share a small moment of personal peace …sweetpeace that is. Check out LadyBug enjoying time in sweetpeace!

Now don’t get me wrong, we’ve been very fortunate with LadyBug’s nighttime sleeping schedule. She goes to sleep around 6:30pm every night, wakes up for a middle of the night “refuel” and goes right back to sleep until around 6am. Not bad! But what is a little different this time around is her napping schedule. Or, rather, her lack of a napping schedule. Our little Bug is so incredibly alert during the day that she just doesn’t seem interested in napping. At first I was amazed because everyone tells you how much babies like to sleep during their early months (plus this wasn’t the experience I had known previously with Bear). But now I like to think it’s just that beautiful joie de vivre she has in discovering her world which is keeping her from dozing off throughout the day. She fills her days reaching for toys, giggling, cooing and trying to master the art of the back-to-tummy-roll. I really can’t blame her for not wanting to sleep with some many new things to explore.

But, the parent in me knows it’s important that she at least have some restful periods throughout the day. So over the past 4 months my husband and I have been working on creating a bagful of “tricks” that seem to work quite well. And since, as they say, knowing is half the battle, I figured I’d share the tricks that have worked for us (really in the hopes that you would then share some with me!) 

1.Keep stimulation to a minimum- this may seem obvious to some, but for us, it was something that we overlooked simply because Punkin’ Bear was able to sleep any time, any place. It didn’t occur to us that this may not be the case for all of our children. Now we know to keep noises low, draw the shades, and keep surrounding activity low. (Well, as low as you can in household that has a pre-schooler)

2.Insert background noise– On a related point to the one above, we’ve found that using a sound machine, a ceiling fan or even an air purifier, for a constant stream of white noise helps Bug “zone in” and be less disrupted by everything else going on in our house.

3.Go with the notion of motion– the age-old parental instinct is to rock your baby to sleep – and for good reason…it works! But if your arms are full or, as in our case, our little one starts getting a little heavier, sometimes we have to find other ways to get that soothing motion. We’ve tried a gentle bounce in her bouncer and the sweetpeace which is perfect for simulating you’re own rocking motion. When we’re on the go, a good old ride in the car works well (assuming her big sister isn’t feeling so inclined to recite the ABC’s to her) or a walk in the stroller, keeping the visor down so she’s not over stimulated by everything going on around her. And one of my most recent discoveries is using a baby sling – it’s great for keeping her close and warm ,which in our case has worked out to be a sure fire recipe for a few Z’s.

4.Keep an eye out for patterns – In the beginning, I never really thought to look for indications of when it was time for Bug to nap. I just presumed she would fall asleep when she was so inclined like her big sister did. But once I became in tune with her rhythm, I realized that she does have a general sleep pattern. For example, like clock work, she’ll fall asleep exactly 1 ½ hours after she wakes up in the morning – but the key is, I have to keep an eye on the clock and use a combination of the methods above to help her get to sleep. Otherwise, she’ll just keep going and going and going.

Obviously I’m no expert on “sleep solutions” (just a tired mom of 2!) – these are simply the things we’ve tried and that have worked for us.  I’d love to hear about anything you may have tried that works for your non-napper!

Now that we’ve officially entered Fall and that I’m back in the office from my 3 month maternity leave, I was reminiscing about that notorious essay it seemed you were assigned every year during your first week back at school, appropriately titled “What I did on my Summer Vacation”. Though, in my case, it’s twenty years later and my first week back at school has turned into my first month back at work. It’s hard to believe that 3 months came and went so quickly, but as I think about it, I really did have quite an enjoyable summer being on maternity leave. I mean, truthfully, how couldn’t you? – spending 3 warm and mostly sunny months with your children, doing all of quintessential summer activities. Going to the amusement park (2 actually!), going on vacation and just plain ol’ getting outside every afternoon for a walk around the neighborhood.

The interesting part is that I had Punkin’ Bear around the same time of year as BrotherSister. (which, by the way, now that we know for SURE that she’s not a Brother, I’m officially re-naming her “LadyBug”) but I feel like I was and am much more mobile with LadyBug than I dared to be with Punkin’. I mean, I wouldn’t have fathomed venturing to an amusement park with Punkin before her 3^rd month and yet I did with LadyBug. Of course, I also didn’t have an energetic pre-schooler around at the time to even think about doing such a thing. But really, when I look at Bug’s first 3 months of life, she has been on a plane, a train, and of course, in automobiles. She’s been to the beach, to an aquarium and to the zoo. She’s been grocery shopping, mall shopping and house shopping. I mean really, this little one has been out and about in every sense of the word.

Here’s the thing (and forgive me, I know this is going to sound like a sales pitch given where I work and all, but it is the absolute truth!) – I’ve come to realize how indispensable certain “tools” have been in allowing me to explore the world with my little ladies over the summer. Take, for instance, the Snugrider. It has been amazingly handy, especially because we now have twice the gear to pack every time we go out (and I still haven’t upgraded from my car to a roomier vehicle). It’s just so portable, light and easy to move which is a must when you’re holding hands with one of you little ones and pushing a stroller with the other.

Another great item that I actually didn’t use with Punkin Bear but have used a lot with LadyBug, was my Infant Travel Bed. Don’t get me wrong, I still love and use my Travel Lite Crib for our overnight travel, but when visiting family and friends, it was just a great, quick and easy way to set up a nap spot for LadyBug. And quick, easy, efficient are must haves for me.

All in all, my “vacation” with my 3 year old and my 3 month old girls was full of fun and great memories. Now sleep on the other hand, not so much…

I love this picture- it’s a shot of all the cousins at the beach. (Photo credit: Still Motion Photography)

I can’t believe it. My little Punkin’ Bear turned 3 earlier this month and while I was so caught up in the excitement details of planning her party, I’m just finally getting around to reflecting on all of the amazing developments she’s made in her first 3 years of life. I suppose it’s natural for parents to be reflective and sentimental at their children’s birthdays, which I indeed was, but what has really struck me recently is just how far she’s come in the 2 weeks since her big day! 

Ask most of my colleagues here at the office and you’ll know that potty training has been an interesting course for us. For the past 6 months, Punkin Bear has been hit or miss (mostly miss) on the training track. I thought for sure that moving into the “potty training class” at daycare with a more focused effort from her teachers would surely move the training along (plus a little peer pressure from her friends never hurts, right?). That was 6 months ago and the only thing it did was create a refusal on her part to wear baby diapers; instead only opting to wear big girl training pants.  Great if she used the training pants in conjunction with the potty training, but not so much when she decided to use them solely as diapers – especially given that they’re more expensive than diapers!

We tried everything we could think of to help the transition. We tried the reward system, potty training books, and even a potty poster where should could proudly display a special sticker each time we had success (which , by the way, she quickly learned that she only had to go a tiny bit in the potty to qualify for this special treat and that the rest could be left to her pull up!). As we got a little more desperate, we tried switching to pull ups that change temperatures to help children know when they had an “accident” and even decided to go cold turkey into big girl underwear.  Nothing worked. That is until her that magical day that happened just 2 short weeks ago– her third birthday.

 Somehow, I think due to part desperation and part “training exhaustion” on our end, my husband and I spent the weeks leading up to her birthday less focused on the instant win of potty training in the here and now; instead shifting our focus to make it more of an evolutionary process. So instead of focusing on “why didn’t you tell us you had to use the potty” we shifted to “big girls tell mommy and daddy when they need to go potty” and “when you’re 3, you’ll be a big girl so you’ll remember to tell us when you need to go”. By speaking to something she ultimately wanted – to be a “big girl” which in her mind began at 3 – we found our sweet spot which finally worked! Instead of trying to make it a process that worked for us, we found a process that works for her. And I have to tell you, success has been SWEET! Like a light switch, she has been fully potty trained since her birthday. Did I mention we’re going on 2 weeks straight?! She just decided to do it and did it. 

Amazingly, I was still fully prepared to take nighttime training as its own course – another evolution to come in the next few months. But Punkin has actually taken it upon herself to get up in the middle of the night, go to the bathroom and stay completely dry.

I’m just so proud of Punkin’ Bear. And, yes, while it is also a relief for my husband and me to have one less set of diapers to change (with BrotherSister due to arrive any day now!), I’m more thrilled about the fact that my little girl put her mind to something and did it on her own accord. It’s funny, but I’m really beginning to have an understanding and appreciation of the old cliché “It’s the little things in life”.