It was actually a little ironic that the same day that I was asked to write a blog post on this topic, I received two very lovely invitations in the mail. One was for a baby shower on March 24th at 2pm and the other was for a 1st birthday party on March 24th at 2pm. I think this is a perfect example of how babies have changed my life as a non-parent… while I’m still juggling hanging out with other non-parent friends at hot spots on Friday nights, and trying to fit in the oh-so-fun bachelorette/bridal shower/engagement parties, I’m now also double booked on Saturday afternoons where the highlight of the party is cake smashing and diaper cakes. And it’s great! I get to experience totally new things and learn what is working for my friends. (Secretly, I am mainly watching out who for who has the most laid-back kid, and I intend to fully emulate what those parents do.) So I have to be honest and share that although I haven’t gone down this path yet, it is **amazing** to be part of my friends’ journeys into parenthood – it has been downright inspiring to see how much they love their baby(s) from the first pregnancy test.

One thing has happened that I did not predict when many of our close friends starting having children. I assumed that we would just be hanging out with the kids all the time, which is true to an extent, but many of our friends still want adult nights out. So depending on whether or not they can lock down the elusive neighborhood babysitter, we get to see our friends and go do those things, like Anne mentioned, that are better suited for a group sans kids.

I feel that not being a parent in the midst of babies and baby bumps allows me to get all the benefits of playing with cute babies and buying tiny adorable onesies, while still being able to sleep through the night. And this is something I hear does not happen very often after becoming a parent.

I asked PP if I could interview her and her first question was, “what’s an interview?” I told her an interview is where I ask you questions and you get to answer them. Surprisingly, she was excited to take part, so I seized the moment:

1. What’s your favorite food? (I didn’t want her to lose interest so I decided to start simple and ease her into the interview…)

“Chocolate.” (I guess we need to work on the food groups a little more..)

2. What’s your favorite thing to do?

“Watch TV (hence my reason for doing this) and draw pictures.” (at one point, PP’s room was covered wall to ceiling with her artwork.)

3. What’s your favorite thing to do with Mommy?

“Hug her.” (Isn’t she sweet?)

4. What’s your favorite thing to do with Daddy?

“Read stories.”

5. What’s your favorite color?

“Pink” (No surprise there, but thought she would say pink and purple–that’s usually one color for her.)

6. What do you want to be when you grow up?

“Unicorn flyer.” (Hhmm…not sure if that is a high demand career.)

7. What is your favorite word?

“Annalise.” (Is currently one of her best friends.)

8. What is your favorite thing to do at school?

“Play outside.” (Glad to know I am paying for a quality education and ” playground” is her favorite subject.)

9. If you could do something all day long, what would it be?

“Roller-skate with Daddy and ride my bike.”

10. If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?

“A unicorn.”

11. What is your favorite movie?

“Chihuahua.” (Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2)

12. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

“Disney World, so I can watch all of the Disney movies.”

13. Who is your best friend?

“All the girls in my Pre-K 2 class.” (Nice to know she is so inclusive!)

14. What is your favorite TV show?

“Bubble Guppies.”

15. Who is your favorite Princess?

“Ariel.”

16. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

“My feet.” (Random)

17. What is your favorite game?

“Pinkalicious Cupcake Game.” (Best $15 that I have spent!)

18. What is your favorite thing about Mommy?

“She hugs me a lot.”

19. What is your favorite thing about Daddy?

“His strong bones because he picks me up and does strong things.”

20. What is your favorite animal?

“A giraffe, no a dog, yeah a dog!”

I thought it was so fun to see what my child’s “favorite” things are as well as spend time together outside of Television. Ask your little one what their “favorites” are and let us know what they say!

We live on opposite coasts, but luckily we have stayed close through the years. I think it’s because of this that I already feel so close to her little ones. We’ve met the kids before and have spent time with them, but this was the first time hanging out with them on their turf. It didn’t take long for them to warm up to us. KK had already fallen in love with Mike (my husband) when she first met him at my sister’s wedding, so it was like we jumped right back into things.

They are the most precious kids.

C has this fiery, spiky red hair and the biggest blue/green eyes you’ve ever seen. He’s the happiest baby I’ve ever seen, and man can that boy eat! The cutest thing ever was when he’d be done eating and he’d do sign language to say “all done” with those little hands to his mommy. She’d get him out of his highchair and he’d laugh out loud, and wiggle and kick, so proud of himself that he could communicate.

And KK is just so precious and bright. She loves to dance and she’s so smart for a 2 1/2 year old. She would “cook” for us in her kitchen and make up her own stories when she “read” us books. She made me read her the first four pages of one of Rachel’s cookbooks over and over and over again. When she gets excited her little hands shake and she jumps up and down like a little jumping bean until she wears herself out.

It’s funny because I’d feel proud when other grown ups (beside her parents of course) wanted to play with her and she’d come to me instead (I’m sorry I know that’s so selfish!) She’d sit on my lap and snuggle and look up at me and say “I wuv you!” My heart almost burst right then and there.

It’s funny, because I know they aren’t mine, but when I got on that plane to go home I felt a little lump in my throat. Will they remember us the next time we see them? Will they know who we are and still want to hang out with us? By then C will be walking and KK will be reading for real and we are going to miss it!!!!!!

After all of the joy from our week, the house seems eerily quiet.

It seems so stupid to be upset, but how do you NOT get attached? It’s hard being away from family. Kids just amplify it because it turns what you’re missing into something tangible. So, for now, we’ll video chat and we’ll have to plan another trip to look forward to in the meantime!

How do you deal with living far away from your family? And how do you stay in touch?

The weather in Atlanta has got us here, at Graco, ready to dance and celebrate the coming spring. We hope this video makes you laugh, makes you dance and brings a smile to your face this Friday.

Last weekend we went to visit friends with a brand new baby, and from the moment we walked into the house I knew I was in trouble. We were enveloped in cuteness. The sight of that precious boy in his cute little hat, with those teeny tiny fingers and, OH, that new baby smell that overtook you when you got close to him (Mmmmm…new baby scent). Sheer heaven. It wasn’t even ten minutes before I asked to hold him. To be honest, I am amazed I held out that long.

As I was holding that adorable baby boy, all the memories of the birth of my own two children came flooding back. I loved the infant stage. It’s a pretty labor intense stage (pun totally intended) for the parents, but the rewards are tremendous. For me, there are few things in life that compare to seeing my child smile for the first time.

Before having any children, DH and I reviewed our finances. That may surprise you, but let’s face it, raising children is EXPENSIVE! We wanted to make the right decisions for our future family. We considered all the usual necessities like diapers, clothing and food, but there are also other factors like day care expense and college tuition.

It was hard to discuss baby dreams in conjunction with our checking account. For me, babies shouldn’t have to be about money, they should be about love and feelings. The same feelings I was experiencing all over again holding my friend’s newborn.

“Two and through,” I have always said confidently. However, those words weren’t ringing as strong in my ears that day. I could feel my ovaries churn watching this little man gaze at me. My heart ached with the slightest twinge as I was reminded again that I would never be holding another newborn of my own.

These thoughts were interrupted by my boisterous six year old, asking to hold the newborn. She was as anxious to hold him as her Mommy was.

As I sat there watching my daughter sing her ABC’s to the little man in her arms, my heart no longer ached. It was singing..A…B…C…D…

I digress back to the  wise Rolling Stones, “If you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.”

I know in my heart, I have what I need.

Did you make a plan? Do you know how many children you want? What’s your perfect family size?

The oldest is stubborn, willful, and dangerously clever. From the time he was two (he was speaking full sentences at 1 years old) he has been coming up (in my opinion) with the most amusing ways to manipulate situations. I could have a running list pages long, however, I will stick with my two favorites.

My father and half-brother live in New York City and getting into schools (even public) is quite a process. During the pre-school interview process the children were asked to complete tasks, chores, and activities to test their social and mental acumen. My older half-brother passed all tests not because of his ability to complete said tasks, but because they were so impressed with his ability to get out of doing the task.  He actually delegated all his work to other children. He told each child and teacher present why he thought they would be better at completing the task than he would be, by pointing out what he thought were their strengths. For example, he told the moderator “I think you have had more schooling than me and would be better at picking out numbered blocks, but I am happy to watch you do it.”

His latest, which I have no clue where it came from, is insulting you when he is upset or trying to be funny and then telling you that whatever he said was just a “saying.” He must have picked up the gist of what a “saying” is, somewhere along the way. His use is wrong and his motives are beyond transparent, but it’s hard not to find the humor in a 5-year old thinking that labeling something a “saying” clears him all of hurt and wrong doing. For instance, he told his little brother he was a “Diaper-headed chicken,” and when my father reprimanded him for using that language and insulting his little brother, his response? “It’s just a saying, don’t you know what a saying is?” There have been many more instances where a “saying” excuse was used to avoid punishment.

I live states away from my little brothers and so my access to them is limited and time spent is few and far between, but the manipulation behaviors that I have seen are hilarious and I know most of it is part of the growth process. It just never ceases to amaze me how young it starts and how resourceful a child can be.

We would love to hear from you. What has your child done to avoid punishment? What behavior or learned knowledge surprised you? Made you laugh?

I know I’m guilty of trying not to stare while a parent yells at her screaming child in the grocery store, or I’ve  wondered how a family could let their kids play Ring-Around-The-Rosy in the middle of a restaurant. It might be because I don’t have kids yet, but already, I have a strong opinion on the subject.

I have two half-brothers who are two and six and I babysit them all the time. Being 20 and 22 years older than them, I feel like I am more like their mother than their older sister. Disciplining them when they are with me seems to come naturally, and I think it’s because I believe we are all a product of what we know and what we were taught when we were younger.

In college, I took a Communications Conflict course. The very first day we were ordered to stand under the card that most represented the household we grew up in. The three cards read Authoritarian, Passive and Authoritative:

Authoritarian: Unquestioned obedience of the child is required. Little explanation is given and the child is expected to accept the rules unquestioningly. Rewards are avoided for fear of spoiling the child. Emphasis is on corporal punishment for misbehavior.

Passive: Complete freedom of the child is allowed. The child provides the discipline; no control or authority is given. Few rules and little guidance or explanations are given. The child is expected to derive satisfaction from the social approval that good behavior brings. The child learns from the consequences of the act that he has done the wrong thing.

Authoritative: Control from within the child is the outcome desired. The parent, other adult or child provides the discipline from “within”. The major emphasis is on explaining the meaning of rules and repeating them until the child learns them. Praise is used lavishly for right behavior or an attempt on the child’s part to do what he knows is expected. The child is given an opportunity to explain why he misbehaved before being punished. Corporal punishment is used infrequently.

Although these are the three most recognized “styles,” by psychologists as well as other noted parenting sources, I believe most parents are a combination of sorts.

I found myself gravitating towards Authoritarian and Authoritative.

I grew up with a mother who was raised in a strict, conservative, military household, and a father whose family dynamic was dysfunctional to say the least. What resulted was what I still believe to be a strong mix of both Authoritarian (parents are always right, no questions asked, spankings as punishment) and Authoritative — thinking for yourself was promoted and cultivated, arguing your point was welcome, and creativity was nurtured.

What resulted were two children who are ambitious, independent, respectful of adults and team players. This is what I hope my two youngest brothers will become and I hope to be a strong influence in that department. My step-mother is definitely more Passive than Authoritative and I find myself struggling to reconcile with her decisions.

I know that neither her way nor mine is right, but I can’t help feeling that my way is more right. I am sure she feels the same. Either way I know my step-brothers are loved and will turn out just fine. Like, I said, it’s all subjective. It wouldn’t be fun if we were all alike, being raised differently is one of the things that makes us all unique.

What is your parenting “style?” Do you believe you are more right in the way you discipline?

For more information on the three types of discipline, please see links below.

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/infantparentingtips/a/04_pntg_styles.htm

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1993478/are_you_an_authoritarian_permissive.html

http://parenting.ygoy.com/2010/11/09/the-compare-of-parenting-styles-democratic-authoritarian-and-permissive/

http://www.parenting-healthy-children.com/authoritarian-parenting.html

So now that I have a little over a year of grandparenthood under my belt,  I’m amazed at what I’ve learned about myself  and life now that the next generation has begun!  Here are some of my latest enlightenments:

01.  Grandparents DO have favorites.   It’s a rule that you must love all your kids equally (you know you all do!), but… when you have grandchildren, you can choose favorites!   “Love Bird” is my favorite.  I am completely overwhelmed with joy and I’m sure I could never love another grandchild as much.  Didn’t I say that about my first baby too?

02.  My house is no longer babyproofed!  Somewhere along the way, I started keeping poisons under the sink and not locking the door to the basement.  My outlets are exposed. Even my oval coffee table has developed sharp edges.  It’s okay.  I can never take my eyes/hands/lips off this child anyway!

03.  There used to be rules in my house, but I forgot where I put the chart.  I think it was stuff about only eating food  in the kitchen, and at the table and on a plate and with a fork and spoon, chewing with your mouth closed…I think…. Oh and we eat at regular meal times.  “It’s alright if you are not hungry for lunch, the next meal is dinner – you can eat then”, was an old favorite saying in my house.

04.  Great-grandmothers don’t seem as excited about their new status as they did when they became grandparents.  I feel like they are laughing at me on the inside and know “something”  I don’t.   Wise as they are, they are enjoying watching me “gush”.  I bet it just because they have more experience at the most difficult grandparenting responsibility of all – restraint.

05.  So now I have to sleep with a Grandpa!  Truly – this is SO much NOT what I had imagined 20 years ago.  Sharing a grandchild is another of life’s blessings that we have been fortunate enough to experience together.  Life seems more complete, it has deepened our relationship.  Our capacity for gratitude grows every day.

What has the little one in your life taught you lately?

You should have seen the meat department!  The only poultry left at our local Publix was literally three whole chickens, a couple packages of chicken livers and two packages of chicken gizzards.  Yikes!  I’d hate to be the person that decides to eat that…

I had such a great time in the snow this morning with my little one – and, I was able to put the snow boots to good use that I had kept stashed for the last five years since our move down from Wisconsin.  I knew there was a reason I had held on to those!

Being out in Gracie’s first snow made me glad we had already had been through – and recovered from – the little lady’s first cold.  Early in December, Gracie woke up with a terribly stuffy nose and seemed to be feeling pretty awful.  What a helpless feeling for a parent to know your child is uncomfortable and to not be able to make things immediately better!

It was some comfort at least to have “Graco to the rescue!” as I was fully stocked with health care essentials in the event this very thing occurred.

First, an easy measure by the 1-second thermometer had me assured that there was no fever in my babe.  Then, I had seen video of my cousin’s baby LOVING the music-playing Nasal Aspirator so I decided to give that a try.

What Gracie says when I try to put SimplySaline in her nose!

I began by attempting to irrigate her nostrils with Baby Simply Saline – big mistake to try on my own!  With Nannie now enlisted, I gave it a second try… oh the screams!  Gracie was not a fan of this – but, as soon as the music began on the nasal aspirator, she became distracted and quieted down as I used the tool to clear her out.

I spent the rest of the day checking that fever (which never rose above low-grade, thank goodness), clearing boogies and giving my baby some get-well cuddles.  For the next few nights, a humidifier in Gracie’s room gave me peace of mind that all her nasal congestion wouldn’t dry up in there.  Within the week, Gracie woke up one morning stuffy nose and cold symptom free.  I guess I’m getting the hang of this parenting thing!

Before I run back out into the snow for some afternoon playtime, I do have a question for you all.

While I was Googling information about baby colds during all this, I came across a device that you use to suck out the mucus from your child’s nose.  WITH YOUR MOUTH!  Haven’t heard of it?  I promise, I’m serious.  Has anyone used this??  Does it really work?  How do you not transmit your germs to your child through this?  And – do the little boogers actually end up in YOUR mouth??  Please, do tell!

Photo courtesy of Layden Photography

If you gave birth to your wonderful bundle of joy, or found out your were pregnant on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day, share your amazing photos on the Graco Facebook page and your little one or bump may be selected for posting on our Wednesday feature Bundles, Bumps and Babies.

Congrats on becoming a new mother and we wish you and your family years of joy! Come back often and stay tuned for contests and prizes as well.

Maybe you’d like to share that great shot of the ever-growing baby bump you are sporting, your newborn baby’s very first picture or anything that captures the wonder, humor, marvel of childhood and parenthood — here’s how!